Spots

Poor Madeline is covered head to toe with red spots. When Maddy went for her 1 year check-up they gave her the MMR vaccine, and apparently about 6-12 days after the shot they can develop the rash. Yep, Maddy's got the icky rash. It doesn't itch her or anything, and she's totally her happy self, but she's absolutely covered in spots.

Today is my mom's first official "Grandma Friday." She's now only working four days a week and will be watching Maddy every Friday. She actually picked Maddy up yesterday after work and kept her overnight.

Jerry and I sort-of enjoyed the night without her, but I gotta tell you that moving and packing and still working things out on the offer on our current home is not exactly an environment for a happy couple/blissful marriage. I was extremely crabby when I got home yesterday just because we still have so much to do, and what does he do as soon as my mom walks out the door? Plops his ass in the recliner to watch ESPN.

He says, "Are you gonna stamp Maddy's thank you notes so you can pack up the stamp room?" (He never took his eyes off the TV, and I was already in the middle of stamping.)

I say, "I'm starving. What are we doing for dinner?"

"I don't know. Whatever you want, but I don't have any money."

"Well, we can't eat here. You already packed up all the pots and pans and everything."

"Wherever you want."

"I don't have money either."

He just sits there watching TV, while I have a monstrous headache because I'm hungry and getting crabbier that he's just sitting there watching TV.

Finally, he gets his ass up and puts on a decent shirt and we decide on Mr. Hero (yes, I know what a nutritious dinner). Then, we went to Home Depot. Spent two hours there (no joke). We ordered a ceiling fan and bought a new sink for the new house.

Yeah, Jer hates the sink that comes with the new house. It is really shallow and cheap-looking. So we bought this $220 black slate sink to put in.

This purchase was made by the same man who gave me shit about buying Madeline shoes that properly fit. Insane.

So, when we got home, I finished Maddy's cards and then we spent one of the last few nights possible in our hot tub. That was nice, and was the only thing that finally made my damn headache go away.

Oh well, I better get crackin'. I need to also call and check on the spotted baby Madeline.

Home Improvement Stores

So what the hell is about home improvement stores that makes them the most complicated places in the entire world to find what you need quickly?

We freaking spent 2 1/2 hours at Lowe's last night, and all we left there with was a garage door opener and two packs of overhead light covers. We wanted a ceiling fan there too, but it would've been a special order and taken us another two freaking hours.

Oh, and in case you were wondering, spending nearly 3 hours in Lowe's with a 1 year old little girl IS NOT FUN. Don't get me wrong, she was very well behaved (especially considering we spent two hours at Sears the night before buying a new washer and dryer), but how many times can you push the cart down the paint color aisle and play the "color" game with her? Ya know? It was insane, because we had to wait in every dept. for the right person to come and help us, while every time we drove by the check out lines there were like 80 cashiers standing at the end of the register smiling and waiting for the next customer?! Crazy! I've decided there are always available cashiers because the average trip into one of those stores last 2.24 hours!!!

Blah.

On a happy note, I mentioned we went to Sears on Monday. Well, that's in the mall, so we also took Madeline to see the Easter Bunny. She absolutely loved him. She laughed and waived at him, and she didn't want to get down. She even gave him a kiss good-bye. Too sweet!

"The Other Party"

Just a quick re-cap of the "other" baby girl's first birthday party...

They had like 100 too many people in their house. It was crowded and hot and there were tons and tons of kids running around.

My poor niece wanted nothing to do with her cake, so everyone kept trying to stick her hands and her face in it, and she just looked around the room, like "WTF?"

There were so many gifts, and J-J got cranky and mad and wanted to stop about half way through.

There was a ton of food, but here's the weird kicker... The girl had 4 freaking cakes! One big daisy cake (went with the theme of the party), a free cake from the grocery store?, a little cake for her, and a homemade bear cake with matching daisy cupcakes! It was crazy! On top of all that cake, there were pastries and cookies and oh my gosh way too much crap!!!!

So, not there was a "competition" per se, but I do believe we had a landslide victory in the first birthday category!

A little weird

I think I mentioned a few posts ago that my brother is now dating someone new. Now, I need to preface this with the "I am really happy he is moving on with his life." BUT, I am having a hard time adjusting to all of this. You see the new chick is older than I am, and she has a four year old daughter. She's divorced, but the guy she was married to was not the father of her little girl. She's incredibly sweet and nice, she's mildly cute; however, I think I have a big problem with her because she talks to me like she's "older/wiser" or something. It's annoying. Like at Maddy's party, she kept talking to me about her daughter's party and what it's like as they get older and how she has this fish tank already and blah blah blah. I was bothered. I think I'm bothered by her and the fact that she is older and does have an older child because in my family I am the oldest sibling, the oldest grandchild, etc. and Madeline is the first grandchild/great-grandchild. And with Jerry's family, we're going through everything the same time with Wendy and Jenna. It's just weird for me to hear someone trying to tell me what it's like to be a mom or how it will be as she gets older... I don't know, and I think I have big issues because I really don't trust her, and I barely even know her. I think because of all the shit Tracy put me through it is going to be really hard for me to even attempt to make friends with another girl in his life.

And like I told Jerry last night, as much as I want to move on and forget the Tracy bullshit, it is never ever going to completely go away. Just yesterday afternoon, I had to do a conference call with our new mortgage people and MBNA to confirm the fraudulent shit on my credit report and the fact that the entire account - from application to finally closing the account - was fraudulent. Bah. There are sometimes I just wish I could hunt down that bitch and make her pay, but then it's just like you know what, I don't care anymore. Whatever.

My brother called me last night wanting me to press charges and send her to jail and whatever, but I do not want to put myself or my family through anymore shit because of her. I just can't.

At any rate, it is a little weird for me having this new chick around. I'm not a fan. At least, not yet. I don't know if I ever really will be, but we'll see.

Did I tell you how they met? Yeah, when my brother went to the psycho hospital, she was the nurse from our doctor's office that walked him over to the ER, and then when he went back to the dr. to follow-up about his meds and stuff, she gave him her number. Hmmm... What do you all think about this? Am I just being overly protective and defensive?

Ranting - Bitch Session

So, I'm incredibly crabby today. Crabby because Jerry pissed me off last night with his "master in command" attitude and barking out orders to me. And then he gets all mad because I didn't want to go in the hot tub with him - well, gee, it would be nice to be asked instead of told. Crabby because my blackberry got all screwed up for some reason and I spent an hour this morning on the tech support line and with our IT guy trying to get it fixed. Crabby because Madeline is being really whiney this week, and she's rebelling against the transition to sippy cups only (no more bottles). Crabby because I'm due for my period in two days. Crabby because I have to pack up all of my stamping shit and it's going to take me freaking forever! Crabby because we got totally screwed by a prepayment penalty on our mortgage for the old house. Crabby because I have to bake stupid ass cut out cookies for Jenna's birthday party this weekend. Crabby because I haven't started Maddy's thank you notes from her birthday party yet. Bah. I am just crabby.

My Life is Pure Insanity

So a lot has happened in the course of a couple of weeks...

Most important thing - my brother is officially divorced from the bitch.

Weirdest thing - he's dating a new chick, she's a nurse at our doctor's office. She's got a really outgoing personality, but I think things are moving way TOO FAST.

Best thing - he got a great new job. Selling sports equipment - totally perfect for him.

Other things: I went to D.C. for three days for work and enjoyed a really great conference. Got a few offers on the house, which we are playing against each other now. The new house has flooring (carpet and wood) and it's looking really great. I had two kick-ass stamping events.

TODAY - I got the biggest placement I've ever gotten in my PR career. An article in USA Today. (I'd link to it, but you'd learn too much information about me if I did). The story went everywhere - and I am getting some great kudos here. Feels pretty good.

This Weekend - It's Maddy's first birthday tomorrow!!!!!!! I just want to cry. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone. We are having dinner tomorrow night with just the grandparents, and then the big party on Sunday. I have a million errands to run tonight, and I'm going to try to sneak out of here a little bit early, we'll see. I'll post some pictures next week. Oh yeah, because she's getting her new pictures taken tomorrow afternoon.

I took Monday off, Maddy has a dr. appointment, but I really just wanted to spend the day with her, enjoying her new toys and hanging out.

After this crazy week, I am so ready for relaxation, but with the party and all, that's definitely not happening until Monday! Bah!

Oh well, back to the grind so I can get the hell out of here.

Hardest Thing I've Ever Done...

OK, so for those of you that know me personally, you know that I've always been a bit of an over-achiever. Finishing my B.A. a whole year early, M.A. in just three semesters, the best of the best, always. I've always had this huge fear of being average.

Now, this does not pertain to my appearance in any way. I'm not one of those girls you see and think "Oh my God, I want to be her." I need to lose like 30 pounds, and when I'm not at work I'm sporting jeans and a sweatshirt.

I'm a mildly trendy girl, you know, when it comes to clothes and things, and I do pay attention to the "rules" of common fashion.

However, I have to say that I've noticed something about myself since I've joined the "working mom" club...

I used to really care about what I was wearing, all the time. What shoes I was wearing, the accessories. Everything. I bought a new pair of shoes like every other day, and I was all about my wardrobe.

I was totally focused on myself, aside from Jer, and very career-driven.

Now, Madeline has truly rocked my world. And I know this because of the evidence in my closet... I have not purchased any clothing items for myself in several weeks. The only shoes I've purchased in the last month were a pair to wear to a wedding. My wardrobe is cleanly divided into "work clothes" and "mommy clothes."

When I am not at work, I am wearing one of the three pairs of jeans that fit me and some variety of sweatshirt.

It is March, and I have not even looked at the spring fashions at the stores.

I must say though that the fashion part does not bother me in the least. Whatever. You know, when I'm out and about on the weekends, I get drooled on and milk spilled on and whatever else Maddy flings or spits my way, and I'm happy about it.

However, this work thing and switching to this "working mom" status is by far the hardest thing I've ever done. It wasn't so bad at the old job, because it was really routine and not too demanding, but this new job has really forced me to face the fact that I really can't have everything all the time.

This post is coming from the fact that I will be here today for 12 hours, and I won't get home until my baby is in bed. I'm nauseous at the thought of this. Last night, I only got to play with her for an hour. Tomorrow night, I won't see her at all either. Now, I must say that this is totally not typical, and this week is an exception and I have known this was coming for a while now; however, that does not make it any easier. I will come away from this week with a stronger hold in my career, but with a huge amount of guilt over the lack of time spent with Maddy. I know that I will be struggling with this guilt for many many years to come. That struggle is incredibly hard, and I salute each and every one of us that faces this battle every day.

I know that for me, working is not a choice. We need our income to maintain our comfortable lifestyle... Sure, we could get by on Jer's salary, but I couldn't go shopping or take Maddy everywhere on the weekends. So, that part, I recognize is a choice. However, if we were to go to a one-income household, in reality, it would more likely be Jer that stayed home. I make more money than he does, and my job/career is something we have invested more money and time into than his.

I guess, I'm just venting a little because this week is so stressful, and in two weeks I will have to leave Maddy for two whole nights and three whole days for an out of town busy trip. The guilt couldn't be any further ahead in the fight these days, but I'm trying, and I know in the end Madeline will admire me for my contributions to society and our community, and it will teach her to be a strong woman. I know that I did benefit from having a working mom, and I admire my mom for her sacrifices for our family. Those thoughts are what get me through these days.

Blogging Slacker

I know I've been a slacker lately, but things have been crazier than ever before! With the whole brother's-gone-crazy fiasco, I've been dealing with a lot of things at home, and work was completely horrible last week, and stamping has been insanely busy, and I just can't believe I have this much going on in my life! Wow.

And, as if my family needs more drama....

Saturday night, Jer's cousin that lives with his parents (it's more like his little brother, really) was in a serious car accident. A girl was killed, and another girl was life-flighted and had to have major surgery, and another boy was admitted to the hospital over night with some pretty bad injuries. Jer's cousin and his best friend (the driver) weren't hurt that bad. His friend had only had his license for like a month, and the group of them had gone out for ice cream. They were driving on this curvy back road, and he didn't swurve quite right and was going too fast. He lost control of the car, and it flipped three times. Jer's cousin is pretty beat up from the seatbelt and his neck is hurting pretty bad, but I think he's just so torn up emotionally that he doesn't know what to do or say. Poor kid.

Yeah, and then my brother moved into his own apartment over the weekend. He's living with my recently divorced uncle. It's a bit awkward for him, but he's glad to be out of my parents' hair. He's got two job interviews today. I really hope they go well. He seriously needs to get a job right away.

I think that Christopher is hanging in there, but the more I thought about it, the more I was sympathizing with him. Looking at his stuff while we unpacked over the weekend, it was like every piece of clothing and furniture and everything brought back some memory of her for me, so I can't imagine how it must be for him.

Oh yeah, and I guess she told Christopher's psychologist that she is seeing someone else. Nice. What a bitch ya know. She really ruined my brother's life, and she truly doesn't care.

Anyhow, back to work. I'll post more this week, I promise.

Even harder...

It's really scary that I wrote that post last week, and now I have to share that my brother ended up in a state mental hospital. On Thursday, when he went to the doctor, he told them how he was feeling and because he was having suicidal thoughts they would not let him leave. They evaluated him in the ER (in a room with two cops sitting outside of it), and then transported him by ambulance to the mental hospital. He's supposed to be getting out today, and he's doing better, but holy crap what a weekend!

My mom was a crying hysterical mess most of the time. I had to actually interact with the psycho bitch again. My dad was just pissed off, and Jerry didn't know what to do at all.

My brother just really couldn't let her go. Eventually she came in to see him, because he asked her to, and he wanted her to tell him that it was over, and she did. It seemed to help him a lot. He's now seeing, really for the first time, how much she changed him and how much shit he put up with from her. He listened to all of us explain how we felt about the situation and the way we've felt through this whole process. He was surprisingly calm and optimisitic (much of it I think due to the drugs they're giving him), but he really asked for our help in getting better. He needs to stay busy and get out and do things. He wants to spend time with everyone again.

He really wants to talk to Jerry. Jer wouldn't go to see him last night. He's a little weirded out by it all and feeling really guilty, because he feels partially responsible for Christopher being there (and in reality he is), and he's struggling with that a bit.

Christopher is supposed to be coming over for dinner one night this week just to talk and hang out. He really wants to re-establish his friendship with Jer. I hope that happens, and I hope that they both learn how to communicate with each other better.

At any rate - the place where he's staying is truly insane and gross. My mom sobbed at the thought of him staying there at all. He couldn't have shoes (because of shoe laces and what he could do with them). People had to sit in on visits, and everywhere you went you were locked in. Weird and scary.

I feel so bad for him, and I really hope this is what he needed to get better.

I'll keep you posted.

Harder than I thought...

So my brother is having a much harder time dealing with his divorce than I thought. My called me this morning all upset because he kind-of had a breakdown last night and was talking suicide and everything. Turns out he's kind-of obsessed with what she's doing now (or should I say who she's doing now), and he drives by her house and calls her just to catch her in lies. Totally psycho, but the thing is he knows he's psycho about it. He went to the dr. today, and I hope they refer him to a therapist or something... He knows he needs help and he's reaching out to get it, which is a really good sign.

I'll tell you what kind-of put him over the edge recently - she had the gall to send him a Valentine's Day card (a husband one) in the mail and write all this mushy bs in it, and he just wigged out.

I feel really bad for him, and he's so torn. He was supposed to be moving out and getting his own apartment, but my parents don't really think that's a good idea right now, and he's having doubts too, so we'll see what happens.

My heart just aches for him, and I, as always, just want to go find that bitch and beat her down!

Typical

So, how was your Valentine's Day? Mine wasn't so great.

I ran home from work to finish getting my stampin' stuff ready for tonight, and then was supposed to head over to the in-law's for a family Valentine's dinner (nice and romantic, I know). Well, Jer calls and asks me to stop and pick up a new prescription for him because he's having a gout attack. OK. So, I run to the drug store. They have one of those drive-through's you know, so I pull up into the line. I sat there for 40 minutes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There was a car behind me and a car in front of me and there is no where to go unless you want to go all off-roading and stuff in the grass. So, I sat there fuming. By the time I got to his mom's, everyone was finished eating (including my clueless husband who had no idea why I was so upset). He says, "you can just heat your steak up in the microwave." Jackass.

So, I didn't talk to him for much of the night and spent my time over there playing with the babies. (Oh, and this dinner including cousins, aunts, uncles, grandma the whole bit, EXCEPT for his sister and her husband who left Jenna there and went out to eat at a really nice place where they had reservations!) WTF??

So, anyhow, I get ready to leave with the baby because my grandma asked me to stop over because she had a little gift for Madeline. So, we did.

When we got home, Jerry was in the hot tub. It took me a minute to catch on that he had left a trail of his clothing throughout the house and up the stairs.... This was a bit weird because Maddy was wide awake and needed pj's and a bottle. So, I look around all confused and go upstairs to find my Valentine's Day gift - this lingerie that I had told him I liked when we were out shopping a few weeks ago. Very sweet, except that I'm still pissed off at him, I'm trying to put Maddy to bed and he's outside in the hot tub! Whatever. I put the baby to bed and head outside. I thank him for my gift, and tell him that I was really annoyed at his mom's house. He apologized. And I sat back and enjoyed the hot tub, because I was so tense and mad and my back was killing me.

He got out of the hot tub and went upstairs. I stayed in for a while longer. I put on my lingerie, climbed into bed and fell asleep. It was kinda funny really, but I truly don't think Jerry was very happy. Oh well. I guess the question is why should Valentine's Day really be any different than any other day?

Oh, and what did I get him, you may want to know... I put together a basket with a bottle of wine and a bottle of champagne, some new boxers, a few of his favorite candy bars and a big candle that I knew he would like. When I got home and he was in the hot tub, he was also scarfing down his candy bars!

In a New York Minute

So I went to New York City over the weekend. Flew in Friday afternoon, and made it out in the nick of time on Saturday evening. I took my 17-year-old cousin to visit the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn. She is thinking of applying to their really unique writing program. So, we got a room in Greenwich Village at the Washington Square Hotel and then took a taxi to the school on Saturday.

That place is pretty cool, and totally up Rachael's ally. Pratt is primarily an art and design school, so it attracts an interesting crowd. Rach fits right in with the atmosphere, it was almost scary to me how perfect it seems for her. Pratt is like the only school in New York with a real gated campus. It's old, and it surely isn't a "beautiful" campus, but it's at least a real campus and not just buildings scattered throughout the city.

All that aside, I must say even as much as I've traveled in my young life (I've been to Paris, London, Florida and NYC several times already), it is still very stressful. This trip was even more stressful though because of the impending weather and because I was responsible for another human being! Wow. I had knots in my stomach the entire trip - catching cabs, walking around near our hotel, finding the school ok, getting to the airport early enough to know if our flight was delayed or cancelled, worrying about the snowstorm and whether or not we would actually get out of there. Bah. Traveling for work is so much easier. You're not worried about money and you usually have a car service, AND I only have to worry about myself.

Let's just say, I won't be doing that again any time soon.

Oh, and did I mention Rachael had never been on a plane before this trip?

Feeling a bit Weird

I'm not really sure why or what it is, but this week I have just been in this weird funk. I had a dream the other night about a psycho ex-boyfriend, and ever since I've just been in this weird kind-of "analyzing my life" and my choices kind of thought mode. I think some of it is stemming from my brother and his impending divorce, and I think part of it is because we have been checking out the new house and realizing that we're going to move away from the town where I've grown up and spent nearly all of my life... I don't know.

It's just like I've been thinking about all the things that have happened in my life that define me, that have made me the woman I am today...

The car accident, college, marriage, Maddy, the affair, the identity theft, the jobs I've had, and even more general things like remembering the time I'd spend at home alone after school when my mom worked and I was in like 5th and 6th grade and I'd have to put a frozen dinner in the oven before my mom got home, or remembering when my mom babysat other kids to make extra money, and when I met Jerry in high school and playing high school sports, or how I felt when I was in third grade and didn't want to read out loud when the teacher called on me.

I know this is a weird and rambling post, but it seems all week I've been flooded with memories from the course of my entire life and it's been really weird.

But, here's a good juicy story for you all to enjoy... (I truly think I could make a killing writing made for TV movies).

So the ex-boyfriend dream... The guy's name was Kevin. Jerry and I were broke up at the end of our senior year for a number of reasons, and I was working as a cashier at a grocery in a nearby town. Kevin was the stokeboy in the alcohol dept. (so, yes, I knew he was at least 21). Anyhow, as a result of the breakup with Jerry and the threats he issued to any and all potential dates I had, I did not go to my senior prom. Instead, that weekend, I went to Kent State University with a bunch of guys from work (yes, 3 guys and me all by myself - smart, I know). So, two of the guys I knew pretty well (they were baggers), but Kevin went too, and I had never talked to him. I thought he was really good looking, but way out of my league because he was older. At any rate, I got to know him a little bit on the drive up... Oh yeah, did I mention that those three boys were token it up while we drove up to the school? So, anyhow, we get there and there's all these random college kids I don't know, and we're sitting in this old house and they're rolling joints, and I'm sitting on this bed. And then everyone was gone except Kevin and I (for some reason, I don't remember). And we started talking a little, and he then he kissed out of the blue. That was it... I was in love with the 23 year old pot dealer! Hah! Anyhow, we dated for several months (all the while Jerry was still trying to win me back), and then I went off to school. He came down there a few times to visit me and stuff, but ultimately it ended because I still loved Jer and wanted to be with him instead, but here are a few hi-lights of the short-lived romance:

He smoked pot all the time while driving the car with me.
He had a pager and would make phone calls from the pay phone (this was before the cell phone boom).
He had a safe in his room.
All of his friends were in high school?
We had sex on the pool table in my parents' basement.
He told me he thought that his dead grandmother sent me to him.
He told me he loved me the first night we met.
When I went away to school, he called me constantly to check on me.
He would drive 3 hours to visit me totally out of the blue, all the time.
When I broke up with him, he typed up this scary letter and signed it with some alias "Frank White."
He mailed me a ripped up picture of me that he had written "whore" all over.
He told me that the whole time we dated he was sleeping with some other chick that had bigger boobs than I did.

Yeah, he was 23 and I was 17. He was a drug dealer and a psycho.

He still works at the grocery store (9 years later), and he's dating the customer service chick at Target!

The good that came out of it: I realized how much I loved Jerry, and we haven't been apart since.

Home & Garden Show

Last night Jer, Maddy and I went to the Home & Garden Show with Jer's sister, her husband and Jenna. It was pretty interesting... Lots of good ideas for decks, fences, pools, hot tubs, etc. Jerry really enjoyed it, I think. Maddy loved seeing all the people there, but her favorite part was the APL booth and seeing the dogs. It made me very sad that we no longer have a puppy for her to love.

The girls were good. We pushed them around in their double stroller, and they were adorable as usual.

I do have to say though that the "theme" for the show this year was Holland, and so there were these windmills everywhere and this weird spot where you could eat Dutch food. It was just odd, and didn't really do much for me. There were tulips everywhere, which were nice, but it just seemed weird. Especially when there are all of these crazy booths like the Kaboom never scrub toilet cleaner, and the one swoop pooper scooper, and all these hideous little tables of porcelain knicknacks and bullshit little decorative crap. It's just a weird mix.

Anyhow, following the show we all went to Olive Garden for dinner. We didn't get to the restaurant until around 8:30. This was dangerous territory, since Madeline is usually in bed by then. She was really good though, and she ate a ton of food. I got soup, and she loved it.

I can't tell you how many times through the course of the night we were asked if the girls were twins. It's funny to watch them interact with each other now. They get so excited to see each other, and they scream back and forth at each other. It's fun to see them getting closer and growing up together.

Things that make me happy

I read a blog post today that inspired me to post some things that make me happy...

1. When Maddy gives me that huge smile when I walk in the door from work, and she lowers her head and she crawls as fast as she can to get to me.
2. Getting an unexpected sweet little email from Jerry during the work day.
3. Seeing my dad with Madeline.
4. When Jer says "I love you" totally out of the clear blue.
5. Knowing when I did a really kick ass job at work, and especially hearing it from a big boss type
6. Traveling.
7. Stamping and scrapbooking without worrying about anything else (time alone, dedicated to my hobbies)
8. Sleeping in (especially since it's such a rare occurrence now)
9. Hearing Maddy belly-laugh.
10. Watching Maddy's face when she figures out something new.
11. Hearing her say "mama"
12. Spending time with my dad.
13. Not having to see the PIL anymore.
14. The thought of being pregnant again. I really can't wait until we're ready to try again. I loved being pregnant.
15. Talking with old friends and catching up once in a while, and feeling like nothing has changed even though everything really has.
16. Working in a hospital and seeing the impact that doctors and nurses and the professionals here have on children's lives.
17. Shopping for anything, anytime.
18. Chocolate peanut butter cup ice cream.
19. The Cheesecake Factory.
20. When people read my blog.

Have a good day. What makes you happy?

Baby Doll

She is just so adorable. I can't tell you all how much fun she is right now. We were just cracking up laughing at her last night. She was making all these silly faces and sounds and playing with her toys. So sweet. Oh my. It's so hard to believe she's nearly a year old already!

Friday couldn't get here fast enough

My what a week it has been. I've been on some weird emotional/hormonal roller coaster, and I am attributing it to PMS the week before my period is due. That's the only explanation I can come up with for the random tears, the instant changes from happy to full raging bitch, and the never-ending "tired" feeling. Bagh.

At any rate, it's Friday! And, I am happy to report that we have a couple coming to check out the house tonight! Woo-hoo!!!! We're having an open house on Sunday, as well, and we are really hoping to get some interest.

New house update: the lumber has arrived. They may've started framing yesterday or today.

Oh yeah, I have recruited my grandparents to watch for a little while tonight while I attempt to get some scrapbooking done. My goal is to be totally caught up in time for Maddy's first birthday, so I have a lot of work to do! The thought of actually executing the creative ideas I've been storing in my brain is what will get me through this day.

I don't want to be at work today. I am so tired and I am just not motivated. Thank God I don't have any crews coming today - I don't think I could effectively turn on the happy PR smile if my life depended on it. I will tell you that I had a great meeting with my boss yesterday, and they may even be hiring me some help! Wouldn't that be great? I'm not holding my breath though.

OH, so here's a great Maddy update: Last night Jer's school had a fundraiser at Chuck E. Cheese. So, we took the baby and went for a little while. She absolutely loved it. You know those robot-looking animal things that sing on stage? She thought they were the coolest thing EVER. And, she is all about dancing now, so the whole time she was bouncing all around and jumping up and down. It was adorable. She waved hi and bye to everyone she saw, and she laughed hysterically at all the kids. I sat her on a couple of rides and she went down this little slide. She was in her glory. Her dad played some games and won tickets. He turned them in for this little light-up ball for her. What a night for a 10-month old, hah?

Oh well, I'm off to attempt to do some work. Maybe some coffee will help.... Have a good weekend y'all.

What's new with me...

Kalahari was really fun. My family had a blast. Madeline really didn't know what to think about all the excitement and having everyone all together. She was really excited and happy most of the time. She liked being in the water with us, and floated around with us on tubes. She actually fell asleep on Jerry in one of those tubes! She was too precious in her little bikinis!

Saturday night, after we got back from the waterpark, we had dinner for my brother-in-law's birthday at Outback, and then we came home and had another couple over for drinks and hot-tubbing. (Maddy spent the night with my parents.) I had way. too. much. to. drink. We were up until like 2 a.m.! Lots of fun though. Then, on Sunday, Jer's family came over to watch the football games and have chili, hot dogs and pizza. It was a totally action-packed weekend and came into work on Monday utterly exhausted.

Had a crappy day on Monday. I was really tired and crabby, and I got upset about some things at work and actually cried a little. Yuck. Yesterday was a little better, but I was still pretty crabby and annoyed.

I got a Blackberry, and it's all hooked up and working. I'm not so sure I like being this "available" for work. Bah. It's addicting to be able to check your email at any given moment, and the damn thing alerts me every time I get a message. I'm still learning how to use it, and on my ride home yesterday I damn near threw the thing out the window because I did something that made the email icon disappear and I couldn't get it back. But, I'll get the hang of it.

The new house has a basement with windows. The lumber package was delivered yesterday, and they should start framing today. We are going to stop by and check it out tonight. We're having an open house on Sunday, in hopes of at least getting someone to come and look at the old house! I can't tell you how much I've been praying that we sell this house before the new one is ready! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Stress.

Oh well, I've gotta run. I have a ton of shit to do, which of course means my phone will start ringing any second now and won't stop until I'm walking out the door tonight. Better get crackin'.

Have a good day.

Kalahari

So, tomorrow I will be out of the office and on a little overnight vacation at Kalahari indoor water park in Sandusky (http://www.kalahariresort.com/OH/Main.aspx).

My entire family is going (grandparents, parents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins). My grandparents are paying for the whole thing as our Christmas gift. They even gave us gas cards to pay for the fuel to get there! Crazy.

Anyhow, I think it is going to be really fun. We have a suite for the night tomorrow, and everyone is packing coolers full of fun beverages and I think we will have a blast. Madeline absolutely loves the water, so I think she is really going to enjoy it.

Because of this excitement, today is DRAGGING ON FOREVER. Two more hours to go... Blah.

Just the littlest things...

So as you know, I spend a lot of posting space bitching about my husband and all the stupid shit he does or doesn't do, but I really need to share something really nice that he did yesterday...

He had MLK day off, I didn't. He was home all day with the baby, and he went grocery shopping. That was great in itself, but the sweetest part is that when I got home, he had to show me all the things that he bought especially for me and he even bought me flowers. He bought me things he thought would be good to take to work for lunch, and he bought my favorite kind of cereal and he bought a few special snacks for Madeline. I was really impressed that he took so much time and put so much thought into shopping, especially since he had Maddy with him.

When I got home yesterday, Madeline was in a great mood and so was he. He said, "We had a really nice day together." And the best part, they did NOT go over his mother's!

I was really impressed. We went to Chipotle for dinner (that's his favorite place in the whole world), and then we had a nice night playing with Maddy and snuggling.

You know, it wasn't anything fancy, but it was honestly one of the best days/nights I've spent with my husband in a long time.

Just a few things

We had a really productive weekend - got a lot of cleaning done around the house, gearing up for some open houses after the Super Bowl. My parents spent the night on Saturday, and my dad watched Maddy and my mom REALLY helped us clean and do laundry. It was so great!

We had my work "post-holiday" party yesterday. It was really nice. My boss's husband owns a wine distributing company, and we went there for a wine tasting and dinner. The building is amazing and dinner was so nice. I can't even begin to describe what a pleasant atmosphere it was, and I will tell you that the best part about the evening was the way Jerry behaved and treated me. He was so sweet, and I caught him a few times saying some really nice things about me. I left there really knowing how proud he is of me and especially of Maddy. It just really was such a nice night, and I can't tell you how much we needed that - time out without the baby.

On a serious note, my brother lost his job last week. I don't really know too much of the details, but if you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that this is not good. He's been so depressed about the whole marriage fiasco, that this was not what he needed at all, but he's handled it surprisingly well. I helped him update his resume and send it out. He's going on a second interview today with a company that he really likes and would love to work for, and he's really approaching the whole thing as a way to make a completely fresh start. Keep him in your prayers, because truly, we are all very worried about his well-being and hope that he really is "making a fresh start." I'll keep you posted on his progress. FYI - in case I didn't mention it before, the dissolution papers have officially been filed and they will eventually have to go to court and get it all finalized, but for now, they are legally separated.

Madeline is feeling soooo much better. She's pretty much back to her old self. She had a good weekend, and played so hard. She is really into her toys, and will entertain herself for long periods of time. Her new thing is "dancin' dancin'" whenever she hears music. It's so adorable. My dad had such a good time with her yesterday - I think he took every toy out of her toy box and played with her. He got her dressed and took a nap with her. It was so cute.

I had a really stressful mommy moment on Saturday afternoon. You see, I have been dying to go to this really awesome scrapbooking/stamping store, and Jerry and I were all set to go out shopping and to lunch, but when Jer was snowblowing the driveway he hit some wire for the sensor on our garage door and it wouldn't close. So, he decided to stay home and fix it, while I took the baby with me by myself. Well, let me just tell you that this store is not a baby-friendly store at all, and I had Madeline in the stroller and she could grab way too many things too easily. Then, she got mad and wanted me to hold her, so I'm holding her and pushing the stroller around the store (which is not designed for said stroller pushing), and so I put all of the stuff I wanted to buy into the stroller. When, she wasn't really happy still. Then it dawned on me that she was probably hungry, so I took all the stuff back out of the stroller and put her in it again and gave her some of those wonderful Gerber fruit puff things. She was fine the rest of the time, but I will tell you that I was sweating in that store and I was so aggravated. Next time, no Maddy when mommy goes to Archivers. I spent way too much $$, because I really was so distracted that I wasn't paying much attention to what I was piling onto the stroller. Oh well. Such is life I guess.

So Sleepy...

I am so sleepy today. I had one of those rides into work this morning where I was truly afraid of dozing off. Jerry and I take turns every other night for who's "on duty" if Maddy wakes up. Well, last night was my night, and she woke up at 12:30 and at 4:30. At 4:30, she wanted no part of going back to sleep, so I brought her in our bed but with no luck still. I woke myself up enough to give her a breathing treatment and a bottle, and she finally fell asleep, but I only had like 20 minutes until my alarm was set to go off. Ugh. I think I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and gets some coffee or something to try to wake me up.

Will it ever end?

So, the sickness cycle continues... I missed work on Friday, because Madeline is really sick. I spent 3 hours with the pediatrician and then another 2 hours at the children's hospital. She has "bronchilitis," but they tested her for RSV and pneumonia. She had to have chest x-rays, they tested her oxygen levels, gave her a breathing treatment, tested her again. Ugh. It was terrible. She had a fever of 103.8! I was so scared. Now, she gets these breathing treatments every four hours, and she's doing SO MUCH BETTER.

On top of the scariness of that on Friday, while at the hospital with Maddy I noticed this funny little rash all over me... Hmmm.... Oh yeah, I am totally allergic to the antibiotics they put me on last week. By Saturday night, I was a flaming red, itchy mess. They called me in a new antibiotic yesterday. Nice.

Jerry went to the dr. again yesterday to get a cortizone shot because he's having a gout flare up.

I tell you, 2006 is not starting off so well.... This sickness streak has got to end! Ugh.

New Work Expectations

I'm posting this because it has been on my mind a lot lately, and I'd love some feedback from others...

My new job requires me to be pretty much accessible/available at any given moment - most of the time just by phone, but it still means that I carry a pager and a cell phone and that I also rotate another "on-call" pager every 3-4 weeks. Pretty soon I'll be getting a Blackberry to be available by email as well...

OK, so you all know I'm a working mom. Well, I have to tell you that I really really love my job. Really, I do. The experience is great, and I honestly don't mind taking the calls at home and all that...

However, what I'm wondering is how long I'm going to be able to survive this way. I used to go home and mentally "turn off" the career mind and "turn on" the mommy brain. Well, now the work brain never stops. And it isn't that I'm not paying attention to Maddy, I am. The mommy brain still comes on, but I'll tell you what's flying out the window... the wife brain. I don't have time to do things around the house, and it's showing. Jerry is getting really annoyed by all the calls and the constant way I talk about work. I know he supports my career, and he would never say anything to me, but I can see it in his face. I forget stupid little things at home A LOT, and in my head I know I'm trying to do too much... the job, the baby, Jerry, stamping, spending time with the rest of our family, trying to clean/maintain our house and laundry and all that stuff. I feel myself getting spread too thin. The problem is, I don't know if or what I could possibly give up... I love every part of my life, and I know I need to make some adjustments, but I'm having a really hard time with it all.

When I have a free moment, I want to stamp, scrapbook and read. I never do though. I ended up going to bed because I'm exhausted. Jerry and I haven't really done anything alone in quite a while...

I think instead of trying to give up something, I am going to try to find a way to take some of the burden off of me. I think I am going to hire my cousin (she's 17 and very responsible) to baby-sit for me on a regular basis, so I get some me-time and can re-charge my batteries. Maybe something like every other week on Saturday afternoon or something... Hmmm... I am really liking this plan. You see, I know that when we move into our new house, we're hiring a cleaning lady, so that won't really be a problem anymore. But I'm becoming resentful that I don't have time for myself to do the things I really enjoy, and thus I'm not really focused on Jerry when we're at home together. I think if I'm a happier woman, I'll be a better wife. Does that make sense or am I just trying to rationalize all of this in my head? I'm going to make a proposal to Jerry about the whole baby-sitter thing... I think he'll be up for it.

What do you all think? How do you keep your sanity??

Missing my Maddy

I am missing my baby this morning. She's so sweet and lovable and I just want to see her smiling face and her babble "mamamamamom" a little bit. I could cry just thinking about the fact that I have to wait like another 8 hours to see her.

She is at the sweetest stage right now - she gives hugs and kisses and just loves to play. My parents came over to visit last night, and you should have heard her belly laughing. It was so cute. She has learned how to do the whole "so big" thing where she lifts up her arms. Well, now that she knows she gets a reaction when she does that, she will do it every time you ask her a question or something that she doesn't know. So, I'll ask her, "Maddy, how was your day today?" So big. "How are you feeling this morning?" So big. "Maddy, do you want to take a bath?" So big. It's so silly, and she just lights up every time with this huge smile. "Maddy, how big is daddy?" So big. :)

She's learning how to blow kisses now. She hasn't quite mastered this yet, but it's getting there.

I am going to have to call her today. When she hears my voice on the phone, she smiles and kisses the phone. On occasion, she'll say "mamama." Most of the time, she's too excited and just smiles though.

Oh well, gotta run. Just had to share my mommy thoughts this morning.

Trying to Recover

I seriously could write a book this morning, I have so many things I could post about. But, here are just the snip-its:

• Maddy's 1st Christmas was amazing. She was too cute for words and is really enjoying all of her new toys.
• The entire week after Christmas, Jerry, Maddy and myself endured seven days worth of torture in the form of snot, coughing, eye infections, strep throat, multiple doctor visits and a giant stash of antibiotics.
• I saw the movie, Memoirs of a Geisha, while enduring a round of orange diarrhea from the mega-dose of antibiotics I am now taking.
• Spent New Year's Eve at home with Maddy, by myself. We were both asleep at midnight. Jerry was out partying it up.
• Yes, we had a HUGE fight because of that. Still not really sure it's over...
• Jerry is now 27 - Happy Birthday to him on New Year's Day. I didn't even give him a card or anything, as a result of said fight.
• I am now feeling a little guilty, but still really mad, about said fight.
• Madeline has her 9 month check-up today at 9:30. This will be her 4th doctor visit in one week!
• I was supposed to be off today to go with her for the shots, poor baby, but I had to miss 3 days last week due to the horrible illness we were all experiencing, so I'm back in the office today.
• While I was out sick, a woman was attacked and raped on the hospital campus, along the walkway from the parking garage to the hospital - where I walk everyday!!
• They caught the guy.
• My brother has officially filed the dissolution papers - almost 3 months to the day of the dreaded MBNA phone call.
• They are breaking ground on our new house this week.
• Aaaaah! We have a little more than 90 days to sell our house before we will be paying 2 mortgages!
• Praying really hard we sell our house soon.
• Have a ton of work to catch up on.

Hope you are all off to a great 2006!

Merry Christmas

Today is my last day of work until Tuesday, so I wanted to make to wish you all a Merry Christmas. We have a heavy schedule of activity kicking off tomorrow and running through Monday. I'm actually kind-of annoyed that we have to run around so much, but I know it will all be worth it in the end... My presants are wrapped, my cookies are baked and I'm all set for Maddy's first Christmas, I think. I'm really ready to be done at work too. I doubt that I get very much accomplished today. Nobody's really here either, which makes it even harder. I might try to sneak out a little early. But seriously, is it really sneaking if there is nobody here to catch you? Hmmm...

I'm really annoyed today though because I forgot my cell phone at home. It's only 8:30 and it is driving me insane. I used to never really care too much about having a cell phone, let alone using one, but ever since I've started this new job, my phone has become like another right hand. I asked for that BlueTooth thing for Christmas, because I spend much of my hour-long commute home on the phone.

OK. I just got off the phone with my boss, and I've gotta run. It is going to be a CRAZY day. Big news stories to get out.

At any rate, Happy Holidays to all of you and your families!

Memoirs of a Geisha

Books are dangerous for me. Once I start reading one I just can't stop until I'm finished. This used to not be such a big deal - Jerry would get a little annoyed with me, but that was ok. Now, with Maddy, it drives me nuts because I just don't have the time to read as much as I'd like (hell, I don't have time to a lot of things I'd like to), but this all brings me to the events of the last few nights...

Last week while Jer and I were at the mall, I bought Memoirs of a Geisha. I started reading it over the weekend. Now, I have to preface this with the fact that I am a very fast reader, and used to read an entire book in just one night. Well, I started reading this one on Saturday, and I just finished it last night. I was determined to finish this book. I loved it all, and poured over the beautiful descriptions of the kimonos and the amazing sisterhood of the geishas. It was truly a great book, and I really cannot wait to see the movie. But anyhow, back to being a mommy and trying to read... You see, I was obsessed with this book, so I would tell Jerry to watch Maddy because I had to go to the bathroom, and I would sneak the book in there just to read a few chapters. Then, I would read while I was feeding Maddy a bottle or folding the laundry or while the baby was sitting the pack-n-play. Every second I could sneak in some reading, I did. And, I finished the book. However, I have to ask... is this crazy? I stayed up late every night reading for a couple of hours after Madeline went to sleep, to the point where Jer was ready to sleep and I still had the lights on... this is highly unusual, as I usually get mad that he's still up watching TV when I'm ready to sleep.

You know, my thought on it is this... Reading is something I do for me, and I haven't had time to read a book since Madeline was born. I don't think cramming in one book from time to time is so bad?

TIME OUT FROM BOOK POST: My husband just called me... I have to vent. You see he is home from now until after New Year's, so he has Maddy with him. Now, I told him a few days ago that I really needed to do Maddy's laundry or she wouldn't have clothes for him to put on her... Well, I haven't had time to get to it because I was busy doing the piles and piles of laundry of ours that we had been hoarding all over the house. (Plus, you know I was busy with the book). So, there really isn't much in Maddy's closet right now that will fit her... so, he called to bitch to me and ask where clothes were that he could put on her... And then he proceeds to ask why there are all these clothes still in the closet and her drawers that are too small.... Now, I told him weeks ago that was a project I really needed to tackle; however, with the holidays I was just too busy and that I would work on after the craziness subsided. He goes on to tell me how easy it was to do and how he couldn't believe she had all these clothes, blah, blah, blah... I am so fuming mad at him right now. Who the hell does he think he is???? He has never in Madeline's 9 months of life done a load of her laundry or put it away or packed her bag of clothes for the week or kept up with the constant need for new clothes in bigger sizes... Now, he's complaining about her closet. Oh my gosh. I am going to kill him. So, I told him that her laundry really needed to be done... His response, "I'll keep looking and find something to put her in until you get home." Asshole.

Yes, for those of you that think I'm insane about mentioning the other day about having another one.... Yes, I am. I need to kick Jer's ass into gear if that's even going to be discussed any time soon! Ugh.

OH, and here's another good one for ya... He's off for like 2 weeks, right? Do you think he would get up with her last night when she woke up at 2 a.m.?? OH no. Mommy was up for like 45 minutes with her, while he snored away. Do you think he helped me put her to bed when she was screaming bloody murder because she's teething so bad, even when I yelled down and asked him to come help me? OH no. He was snoring on the couch, curled up with a blanket while I gave her a bath, fed her, changed her, and spent an hour trying to get her to sleep. OH, and for the record, I actually cooked a meal for dinner last night too while his ass sat on the couch!!!!!! Bah. The dishes will still be in the sink when I get home, I'm sure.

Santa

I cannot believe Christmas is this weekend! Madeline will be 9 months old on Christmas day. Wow. Where does the time go?

At any rate, this year is the first time I have to play the role of Santa. I know Maddy is too young to really understand any of this stuff, but I still feel like I need to start off on the right foot and I know in my heart that she will at least understand that Christmas is a really special time in our family. So, I bought her entirely too much stuff - toys and clothes and books, oh my! I cannot wait to put it all and set stuff up for her to see on Christmas morning, but here's the catch... I really want my husband to put together this ride-on thing we bought her and have it sitting out and make it all look really magical for her, but I know my husband is going to think I'm a wack-job since Maddy will really have no clue what's going on...

I would love your feedback on what you've done for your child's first Christmas or what you think about the whole thing...

Proud Mama Wants Another One

I have to update you all on some things my precious Maddy is doing these days:
Claps her hands
Opens her mouth and "gives kisses"
Says: Mama, Dada, Hi
Waves her entire arm whenever she hears the word "bye"
Frantically "flaps" her arms up and down when she's excited about something
Crawls like she's in a speed race
Stands up on everything
Can drink out of a straw, and absolutely loves doing it
Wants to eat "real" food and throws a hissie if you don't have something you can share
Is teething fiercely - her top incisors are coming in now
She tries to whisper - this is my personal favorite and is soooo cute!

I am telling you that girl is the absolute greatest little thing on the face of the planet!! My parents kept her overnight on Saturday, so that Jer and I could go to his friend's Christmas party. And we both really missed her. At the party, Jer was so cute showing everyone pictures of her and talking about her. On our entire drive out to my mom's to pick her up, we couldn't stop gushing to each other about our little princess. As soon as she heard us come in, those arms started flapping and she raced on her hands and knees to come and get us. Soooo cute.

She's such a wonderful baby, and I am totally getting the itch to have another one. Oh my. It's the same feeling I had when I knew I wanted to have her... Jerry is trying to fend me off with a stick, no more or less he keeps reminding me of the realities that make another one not such a good idea for at least a few more months. We'll probably start trying again later this summer. That way they will be about 2 years apart. I really want a boy, but Jer would prefer another girl. Weird, hah?

Anyhow, I will have to post another time about the party we went to on Saturday. THat was absolutely the craziest party I've been to as an adult out of college. I'm not even kidding - people got naked and all these chicks were flashing everyone. It was insane. The worst part, the majority of the guests were teachers!

Yesterday was a really great day. Jerry was in a really great mood, and it totally showed. We had a nice morning together before picking up the baby, and we ended up staying at my mom's all day and baking cookies. It's hard to explain why that was so great, but really it was just nice to have Jer make me feel so good about everything without even trying. Plus, last week he sent a really nice email to my mom thanking her for watching Maddy for us a lot, and asking her to help him shop for me... Too cute. This weekend was so nice, and I am truly blessed to have such a beautiful daughter and great husband, now I just want to add to our little family :)

Hubby's Misconceptions

I am utterly exhausted today, and my back is killing me. The stress of being a working mom is really taking a toll on me with everything we need to get done to the house and for Christmas. Ugh. Last night, I got home from work and cleaned the upstairs of the house, made blueberry muffins for my whining husband who has been asking me to make them for weeks, gave Maddy a bath, played with her for a while, and spent 45 minutes getting her to bed. Oh, and in the middle of that, took out all the trash, had a stamping customer stop by to pick up her order, and went through all the mail from the past few days to see what things needed to be handled.

Now, do you know what my husband did last night? He hung out at his mom's house after work, so that he could time getting home at the same time as me (thus, not having to watch Maddy by himself). I get home and she's in the Pack n' Play, and he's on the couch watching TV. He leaves her with me and runs out to pick up some Quizno's for dinner. Comes back and takes a nap with Maddy while I clean - they are both snoring away in the recliner while I make the damn muffins. He watches TV while I give her a bath and then heads out to the hot tub while I put her to bed.

Now, I realize there are a few good things about what he did last night - he handled dinner and he kept her occupied while I cleaned upstairs; however, I have to remind you all that my day starts when I leave the house at 6 a.m. and I get home from work at 5:30 p.m. I make about 35% more $ than my husband. I have an hour commute each way. Our arrangement is that he is supposed to make dinner and do the dishes every night, and I honestly couldn't tell you the last time he cooked a meal. Dishes will sit for a long time before he does them, but the last few times I've ended up doing those too on the weekend.

Every time I've gone Christmas shopping, I've had Madeline with me. Every time I have a stamping function, I have Madeline with me. Jerry doesn't change diapers at home like ever.

You know what he tells me all the time, and this is exactly what he said when I asked him if he would put her to bed last night, "No way - I have her every morning."

Every morning, he does have to get her out the door. But, I leave at 6, and he leaves at 7:15. He takes her to his mom's in pajamas, because at the beginning of each week, after I do all of her laundry, I pack a bag of clothes for her and send it over there. So, really he has one hour to entertain her and put her in the snowsuit and snap her into the car seat. Yet, when I get home she's basically attached to me until she goes to bed 4 hours later.

Blah. I know I'm being petty. And I know Jerry thinks he's doing a lot, but I have to tell you that I am in desperate need of some alone time. I just want some time to do something without the baby and without Jerry asking every 2 seconds if I'm done yet or when I'm going to be home. Bah.

He doesn't get it. I am really feeling stressed out.

Happy Monday Morning!

Good morning everyone. How was your weekend? Mine was action-packed as always. Friday night we had Jer's work Christmas party. It was at another teacher's house, and oh my gosh was this house amazing! Her husband is in medical sales, and you could definitely tell he'd makes some big bucks, but I will also tell you that our new house doesn't pale in comparison... I think we may one day be having this party at our house! Saturday morning we had family pictures taken with Jerry's sister and their baby and a few of his cousins. Crazy. The pictures are great though, and we took our first official family portrait of the three of us. I just love it so much. Maybe I'll post it soon. Then, after pictures, Maddy and I went shopping with my dad all day for my mom's gifts while Jerry helped his sister move. Maddy and I spent the night at my mom's, and then yesterday morning dad and I got up and ran out to one more store to finish up, and then I had to drive my brother to go pick up his car, and then we finally got home around 2 p.m. Only to turn around a couple hours later to go to Jerry's parents for dinner. We got home at 8 p.m. last night. I gave Maddy a bath, put her to bed, and went right to bed myself!! Insanity. I am so tired this morning. Wow.

While out shopping over the last week, I've begun to notice that my daughter is an incredibly well-behaved child. Since Thanksgiving, Madeline has accompanied me on three all-day shopping marathons - in and out of the car, eating in the food courts, the whole deal, and she has just been excellent. She loves to see all the people and look at the decorations in the mall, and she generally just likes all the action going on around her. Occasionally she'll get fussy, but it's usually because she needs her diaper changed or needs to eat a bottle. Moms have it rough this time of year, and after these marathon days, I am becoming much more grateful that I have a "good baby." It is so hard to maneuver the stroller in the stores, and trying to focus on shopping while remembering to feed and change the baby, while entertaining her and trying to pay for things and packing the stroller totally filled with gifts. It is just amazing, and it is such a different endeavor than when you don't have children, and you just have to think about the shopping task at hand. But you know, even though it is a ton of work and she makes shopping a truly exhausting experience, I wouldn't change one thing. I am so happy to have her with me when I'm out and about and she babbles and smiles at everyone. She totally deserves the way too many presents her mommy has bought her!! :)

Have a great day!

The illness from hell

Today is the first day I've been to work this week. You see over the weekend I came down with the illness from hell, otherwise known as strep throat. Saturday morning my throat was a little scratchy. Saturday afternoon I was achy and tired. Saturday night I sat in the hot tub hoping my aching neck and back would feel better. Sunday, my throat felt like someone had installed spike strips for my saliva to pass through - seriously it hurt so bad to swallow, I couldn't bare it and spit in the sink a lot. Sunday night I woke up sweating from a fever. Now, remember that I now work in a hospital. So, coming to work was not an option, and I knew I really needed to go the doctor. So I did, and I now I'm taking penicillin for 10 days. Was still contageous and still felt like crap yesterday. Today, I feel a little bit better. My throat has, for the most part, retracted the spike strips and is allowing me to swallow with minimal irritation. Now, I just have to get back into the swing of work... Bah.

The last time I had strep throat, I was in college. It was right after I moved into the dorm my sophomore year. I ended up missing my first three days of class that year because I had to wait for the dr. to show up on campus to give me drugs. I was so sick. I remember just laying on the floor and crying. I also threw up a few times then. Thank God that didn't happen this time around - I did feel nauseous off and on, and this lovely penicillin has turned all of my bodily waste a nice bright orange color though. Anyhow, I remember this because it was the first year that I lived with my now very best friend. What a great impression I made as a roommate - totally sick and puking the first days. Plus, being sick made me get really homesick and then I missed Jer a whole bunch and was having this total breakdown and debating about transferring schools. I was a mess. Once I got through the illness from hell, I realized I didn't want to transfer schools and that to help me get through it all I would just graduate a whole year early.

You see, I get sick when I get really stressed out or have some big decisions going on. Hmmm.... Now if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you can understand why the illness from hell was bound to strike again.

The truly great news is that the dr. told me that children under the age of 2 very very rarely get strep throat - so Madeline should be safe. I was really freaking out about that. Jerry, on the other hand, is not so safe, and I truly expect him to come down with it very soon.

Well, I probably won't post again until Friday. Gotta get caught up today, and yeah, as bad as this sounds, I'm out of the office again tomorrow. I took this vacation day a long time ago, because I have a follow-up appt. with my ob/gyn and then will be hooking up with my mom, my cousin and my aunt to go shopping. (They all took tomorrow off too). Should be fun. I need a little pick me up and some "me" time. Madeline will still be going to MIL's house. I've had her with me while I was home sick, and she's been great. She's so much fun, but the break sounds really nice.

Scrapbooking & Stamping

It's been quite the busy week. Work is crazy - 10 hour days, coming in at 6:30 a.m.! Insane. We took Madeline to see Santa on Wednesday - that was the funnest part of the week. Tonight, I have MAJOR stamping to do. My club's Christmas meeting is tomorrow, and I have a lot of things to get ready for it. Of course I haven't started at all. My mom is coming over tonight to stamp as well, and help me get ready for tomorrow.

I am finding it harder and harder to really focus on stamping because I want to spend all of my available crafting time SCRAPBOOKING. I never thought that I would really get into scrapbooking. Stamping was such a passion, but then I started Maddy's scrapbook and it has become a new obsession. I have so many pictures and page ideas, and not enough time to do it! I might have to become one of those women that I used to think were crazy, staying up until all hours of the night working on pages. I really want to scrap her Halloween pictures, and some really great pictures of her and Jerry. I also want to go back and do some more pages of her earlier pictures. I think after the holidays, I am going to have to ask Jerry to let me have some real time to devote to it.

Ugh. So much to do. I need to put up my Christmas tree too. Maybe Sunday. I am only putting up one this year (I usually do two). I am only going to put the one up in the basement because Madeline is just too quick and too smart to have one upstairs. I know she would try to pull herself up on it, and it would probably come crashing down around her! No thanks. My tree in the basement with all of my collector's Disney ornaments will do just fine. We're finally get the house listed with the realtor too, so I need to spend some time cleaning and packing up some "clutter" too. When the hell I am supposed to do all this I have no idea! I am also supposed to go shopping with my dad for my mom's Christmas gifts. This is an annual tradition. Hmmm... that's a good topic for a future post. Holiday traditions. Next week. I actually need to go do some work now.

Sad Update

Sorry for the week of non-posts. I came in to work last Tuesday and got a phone call early in the a.m. from my mom... my grandpa passed away. Remember back in Sept. when my grandma died? Well her husband just didn't want to live without her and passed away 2 months and 12 days later. It was really sad. I guess my dad and all of his siblings were called to the hospital and then they took him off the ventilator and they were all in the room as he took his last breaths. It was hard with the holiday thrown in there, but the viewing was Wednesday and the funeral was Friday.

I have to tell you that the funeral was pretty interesting... You see my grandpa was a real "old" style southern Baptist man. He would drive out into the boonies to go to church every Sunday evening by himself. He loved going and he went every week until he was too sick to drive himself anymore.

I didn't know too much about his church except for what my dad had told me, which was that he was forced to go as a child and was terrified of it. Now, I tell you this story not to pass judgment on anyone's religious beliefs or practices, but just to share my experience and what my family experienced on Friday. This is simply a narrative of the funeral told me from a non "old regular Baptist" point of view....

At any rate, after spending time at the hospital on Tuesday and then with his siblings, he came over to my house to take a nap and visit Maddy. He starts telling me that it is my grandpa's church's custom to have a 3 day and 3 night around the clock prayer/preaching vigil with the body... typically in the home. He said that the family vetoed that idea. None of them were up for that, plus with Thanksgiving in the mix it just really wasn't what the family wanted to do. Their compromise was to have grandpa's preacher and church "folk" do the service at the funeral home on Friday. And wow did they ever do the service.

We sat in the funeral home listening to them for more than 2 hours. It started with this really loud chanting/singing of these hymns that were really intense and to me, a bit harsh and scary about death and the soul. Anyhow, they were really really loud.

Now, I must add a disclaimer here and tell you that this is really hard to put into words... the intensity of these people and the reactions of the various family members...

Three preachers talked for about a half hour each, and there was another half hour of nothing but this loud chanting/singing.

I should preface this with the fact that the funeral home was packed with people. No one else in my family is this old-school Baptist. Many of us are Baptists, but we belong to more modern congregations and have never been exposed to this type of service.

So, when these preachers "talked" it wasn't really talking. It was more like this weird singing type of preaching, and they would get really into it and get louder and louder and they would be gasping for air between words. It was so bizarre to me. Every couple of minutes they would walk around and hug all the brothers and my aunt, and then shake hands with all the spouses. I think my dad was hugged by these men like 30 times throughout the service. Then, when they would pray, they would all literally get down on the ground and like lay down. This is fine, but when you're not expecting it and all of a sudden this group of men just starts laying on the ground, people all just look around and kind of freak out a little bit.

Now, I think the 2 hour service would have been tolerable had they spent the time reminiscing and sharing stories about my grandpa. But I think the only thing they said about him was "He was a quiet man who loved the church." The rest of that two hours was spent telling everyone that if they were not born again they were going to hell and they would never see my grandpa again. I heard about the fires of hell and damnation and how you need to have the love of Jesus in your heart and you need to be "borned again" or you would not be saved.

This is fine to an extent, because the majority of my family believes this as well - you need to accept Jesus into your life and believe in Him to go to Heaven. However, we did not need to hear it a hundred times in the course of an hour. And we did not need to be threatened like that in a time of grief. It was just so bizarre and so long...

At one point, I seriously think half of the people there were out in the lobby or outside.

By the time they wrapped it up, everyone was aggrevated and annoyed and really freaked out. Nice way to say goodbye to a "quiet man."

They told them they could not do this at the cemetary, that they had to keep it short. So, we get to the cemetary and it's snowing and it's freezing cold and they sing and pray again. They did keep it short, but they did lay down in the snow to pray. I'll give them some credit, the song they sang there was nice, and I will remember it always, "Gone away with a Friend." I know that's what my grandpa did. He's with Jesus and my grandma now, and he's not sick or suffering anymore. I'm just really sad for my Dad. To lose both parents within a couple months of each other.

At any rate... it's strange to say goodbye to an entire set of grandparents and almost end a chapter in my life. It will be the weirdest at Christmas. My grandma's birthday was Christmas Eve.

So, here's to all the wonderful memories of my grandma, Evedith, and my grandpa, Pierce. They were married for 63 years. They had 9 nine children together. 24 grandchildren and 29 great-grandchildren. I think their deaths being so close together is just a testament to how much they relied on each other and loved each other. God bless them and keep them. I will remember them always.

Plans for the Week

This week is going to be another busy one! I've got a meeting tonight with my stampin' downline. I've got the "Mystery Hostess" stampin' party tomorrow night. Wednesday night we are taking Maddy to see Santa and getting her ears pierced, my parents are coming with us and spending the night. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday we have to go sign more papers for the house. Saturday is the big family shopping day! Crazy.

I am already tired just thinking about all of this! Not to mention today is a crazy day at work - lots going on.

Oh well, gotta go start cranking out some work.

TGIF

Wow. I am so glad it's Friday - the weekend means more time with Maddy. The end of my fourth week of work here. The time is flying by. Madeline is 8 months old next week. That's just plain crazy. Granted she is crawling all over and standing herself up on anything she can, and she says "Mama," "Dada," and "Hi." She has two teeth now, and two more are coming in. She is amazingly smart and eats like a little piggy. She is doing so well, and I feel so blessed because she is such a wonderful little girl. It's so amazing to me because I never knew you could love someone so much. I mean you hear that all the time from parents, about the unconditional love and it's something you've never felt before. But it is the total truth. Just thinking about her now, I am picturing her in my arms passed out after finishing her bottle and I just feel my whole body tense up because I just want to squeeze her.

I took her over to visit my grandparents for a little bit last night. She gets such a kick out of them - she laughs at everything they do and just makes their hearts melt.

I will tell you though that the person that I am most-awed by is my dad. He just adores Maddy. Everytime he sees her, he's gotta hold her forever and just play with her. She is not allowed to cry at his house - he strictly informed me. He carries out to the car everytime we visit, and then he proceeds to buckle her in and sit in the seat next to her while he tells her goodbye and kisses her and makes sure she's got her pacifier and blanket. It's just too precious. It makes me realize, what I've known all along, what a truly great dad he was to me and what an amazing grandpa he is.

I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and the way the people you're surrounded by growing up really mold and shape the person you become as an adult. You know I grew up in a very weird situation - with incredibly young teenage parents who actually stayed married. My mom was 20 years old when I went to kindergarten. My parents worked so hard to provide for us, and I truly never felt like we were missing out on anything. In retrospect I know that a lot of that was due to the support and spoiling done by my extended family, especially my grandparents. I had that "cool aunt" and the uncle with lots of money to spend on you. I had the grandma that took me everywhere with her and taught me all about shopping and junk food. I had such a wonderful exposure to the other members in my family that I really really want that for Madeline. I know what those times mean to not only Maddy, but to my family as well.

Jerry's family is very different about stuff like that. I don't think they ever really had "cool" people in their family. They were very traditional and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that they were all much older when he was growing up. They didn't spend too much time at the mall, if you know what I mean?

I think all of this is going to help make Madeline such a well-rounded person because she is already exposed to such a variety of people in our families. My mom is that "spoil me rotten" grandma, and my dad is that extra loving giant teddy bear grandpa. Jerry's mom is the grandma that will teach her how to bake things and sew things and all those traditional "grandma" things. Jerry's dad is the grandpa that will teach her silly songs and tell her funny jokes, and always have some special candy in his pocket. My brother will be that "cool" uncle that likes to take her "bumming." Jerry's sister is that aunt lets her come spend the night with Jenna and have crazy pillow fights and make ice cream sundaes. I'm almost in tears now as I think about all of the incredible people that surround not only my daughter, but myself as well.

Why this sappy post?? I think all of this stuff going on with my brother is really making me understand how different people in the same family can really be, and how that is not necessarily a bad thing. My brother is dealing with this situation in a completely different way than I would, but when you listen to him talk about it, it all starts to make sense. The way my brother interacted with my family was so different from me, and the way my parents treated him was so different from me that his perspective of the world is shaped completely different than mine. This scares me a little, because it shows just how powerful your parenting decisions really are, and it shows how significant the way you are raised and treated as a child are in shaping your adulthood.

Unusual Cell Phone Use?

So, I was struggling with what to post about today that wouldn't just be another gripe about PIL and money.... That is until my last trip to the restroom down the hall. So, the bathroom has two enclosed stalls - totally closed off little rooms with their own lights and everything. So, imagine my surprise when I walk in and hear someone talking inside one of the stalls. OK. Yeah. She was talking on her cell phone while going to the bathroom at work!!! How weird is that? It was so odd because she was behind this closed door talking on the cell phone and you know what she was doing while she's carrying on this conversation! Crazy.

Mortgages, stamping and 401(k)

I have entirely way too much shit going on right now! We met Sunday with UD, the realtor, and signed all the paperwork to list our house. Then on Monday we met with mortgage guy for the new house. On Thursday, I have to meet with these other finance people to roll over my 401(k) from my old job. Blah. Too much financial crap in one week for me!

This mortgage stuff is so confusing to me, but Jerry seems to understand it all so well. He has really done a lot of homework. We are going to be doing an 80/20 loan with the new house. I'm starting to know what that means. But can I just tell you that what that stupid bitch did to my credit is still causing me headaches because the credit reporting agencies have 45 days from the time the fraud is reported to clear it from your report. Well, 2 of the 3 companies have taken it off, but until the third one does it shows up. Do you know how much of an impact this would/could have on my new monthly house payment?? With the $8,000 debt on there, my credit score is 674. Without that on there it will be in the 700's. This causes a difference EVERY MONTH of $165 in our payment!!!! She is sooooooooooo damn lucky that we found out about this prior to meeting with the mortgage people and reviewing our credit with them.

When we met the mortgage guy on Monday, we also picked out the colors of everything in the new house. I'm so excited!! We will have hardwood floors throughout the first floor (foyer, kitchen, morning room, dining room, powder room) and upgraded California shag carpet throughout the rest of the house. We picked out a linoleum floor for the upstairs bathrooms, and countertops for the kitchen. We upgraded to maple cabinets, and since we did 9' ceilings throughout, the cabinets make even more of a statement. We will have his and her's walk-in closets in the master, a corner garden tub in the master bath, oh and ya know I could go on and on, but let me just tell you this... this house is amazing, and I really couldn't be happier with our choices. Jerry's dad came to see it on Monday as well. Jer's mom asked him to describe it to her in one word, he said, "extravagent." :)

I have my stamp club meeting tonight. Should be good. I've got some cute new projects planned. Next week I'm having a "mystery hostess" party on Tuesday, and I've invited a lot of people outside of the club - trying to get some new blood and get some other people interested in stamping. It is so much fun, and I think for a lot of people it is relaxing and a nice form of creative therapy. Now, granted, I know most people won't become as obsessed with it as I have, but hopefully I can get some new faces interested in learning more. I'd really love to start another club. Maybe after we move - I'll try to recruit new neighbors and maybe some new co-workers? We'll see.

Anyhow, hope you all have a good day!

Hoo-Ha Butt-Kissing Lunch

I know you know what I'm talking about... I have to go to this lunch today. It's a fundraiser at this fancy restaurant, and includes champagne and a fashion show. Yeah. You get the drift. I have to meet some VIP's and host a few media contacts. Should actually be a really good thing for me, however...

1. I am extremely picky eater and never usually like those fancy foods, but I'll have to pretend to eat because it's formal and fancy and I can't look like a total freak at the table.
2. It's with all these ritzy ladies, and I'm wearing a suit I bought at Target :) No doubt it's a cute suit, but still you know what I mean...
3. I am super annoyed because I don't have my biz cards yet, and this would be a really great time to have them.
4. My boss, whom I haven't really talked to except for lunch on my first day, will also be there and I'm kinda paranoid about that.


Aside from those 4 things, it should be good. Plus, I think I'm just going to head home afterwards. The fashion show isn't scheduled to start until 1:30, and probably won't end until 2:30, and the place is about 25 minutes away. I typically leave at 4 p.m. anyhow, so I'm going to go straight home.

I have to come up with some plans for tomorrow. Jerry is going to be with the guys all day and night - some football hoopla stuff. I can't go shopping because the credit card bill came yesterday and I kinda got in a bit of trouble for all the shopping I've done recently. And, with all this mortgage stuff going on I shouldn't add to the balance really. We'll pay it off, no doubt, but still... So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do all day. I should really clean the house, but what fun is that? ? I thought about going out to my mom's, but I don't know. I know we'll end up shopping and that would be bad. I really want to work on Maddy's scrapbook, but that is damn near impossible when I have to keep my eyes on her every second now... Hmmm.... What to do with this free time?

Blah

Today just sucks. I have the period from hell. Granted, I am relieved to have it because it came a whole week late (thank you stress - new job, new house, PIL disaster), but still I am having cramps so bad it feels like I'm being stabbed with a dull knife continuously. Ugh.

On a happy note - we signed papers for the new house last night and we will be meeting with the mortgage guy on Monday. That's exciting. Now, we just have to sell our house and we'll be all set.

On another blah note - Madeline has a cold. She woke up all stuffy and with a runny nose. Poor thing. I hate leaving her when she's not feeling well... It makes me feel totally guilty.

I have a ton of writing to do here at work, so I really better go. Sorry for this boring post, but like I said, I just feel blah.

MIL Pisses Me Off AGAIN

Last night we went out to dinner for Jerry's cousin's Confirmation. OK, so the reservation seriously was not until 8:45 p.m. Madeline's bedtime is typically 8. Nice. Anyhow, this is a dinner with like 14 family members. So, let me also preface this with the fact that we did not attend the church service because it was too hard/crazy to get there after work for me. So, we get to the restaurant before everyone else gets there from church. I changed Maddy's diaper, and we fed her some food while we waited for them. Now, let me also preface this story with the fact that MIL had Madeline in her care for the entire day yesterday. I, on the otherhand, got my first contact with my daughter at 6 p.m. So, they all get there and we order and everything. I'm holding Madeline while she babbles away and checks everyone out - smiling the whole time. MIL starts talking to Maddy and says "come over here and let me see you." I ignored her. Then, she gets up and tries to take her from me and I kinda let her know that I really didn't want to give her up. She says, "just for a few minutes." I said, "You had her all day." She still took her and starts talking to her, "are you hungry? do you need a diaper?" Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! I was so mad. I sad to her, "I just fed her an entire jar of food and changed her diaper literally seconds before you got here." She says, "oh, ok. Just checking." Just checking? What the hell is that?????? Just checking. Like I am a complete idiot of a mother.... Whatever.

This was all after she got into with Jerry and told him he was an asshole. As soon as we got in the car to go home we both started bitching about her... If only she wasn't providing the best childcare option in the whole wide world for us!!! :)

No, seriously. Please know that I do totally appreciate and love what she does for Madeline, but it just really upsets me when she questions my parenting abilities or insults the care that I provide for my daughter. If you knew this woman, you would know why it is so easily done. She is THE QUEEN of sarcastic digs and doesn't care if she offends me - you know she gave me the best thing I ever got - her baby. She has this weird mentality about things, and don't think this is just me being judgmental - she actually says these crazy things out loud.

At any rate, dinner was not pleasant and it was a really late night for all of us.

Oh yeah, here's another thing I'm sure you mom's out there will appreciate... So dinner wasn't until 9 p.m. So, I took Maddy there in her pajamas, knowing she would eventually pass out. SIL brings Jenna (granted she did go to church) but she was wearing this black and white and velvety dress with matching tights and cute little hat. SIL, BIL and Jenna actually took their "Christmas card" picture at the restaurant. Jerry and I were wearing jeans and sweatshirts and Maddy's in feety pajamas. Nice. But, I should also note this was seriously just a pizza joint, not a fancy restaurant. I'm not a total slob :)

Gyno Dilemma

I am supposed to go for a PAP test this month because it has been 6 months since my 6 week postpartum check-up. I haven't made the appointment yet, because I'm not sure what to do... You see now that I do PR for a hospital, more importantly a women's hospital, I am feeling like for the next baby I should deliver here. However, my doc is not affiliated with this hospital. So, do I switch docs and find one here - thus, making it easier for appointments and such during work hours - or stick with the doc I really like and that delivered my precious Madeline? Any advice would be appreciated.

Funny at Work

So, as you know last week I started working in a hospital. So, I'm learning a whole new culture and everything, right? The doctors or "docs" as I must now refer to them, are an interesting crowd. Some really stuffy, some really laid back, some you just can't tell. But, at any rate, there are TONS of "docs" everywhere around here. And yesterday, as I embarked on my 20 minute hike to the parking garage, I was walking down a hallway and this "doc" was walking towards me picking his nose. And yes, he saw me. And yes, he continued to pick his nose... It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I think that I will eternally grateful that "docs" are incessant about washing their hands.

Wardrobe Situation

So remember way back when I told you that my new job required business formal dress? And that I needed to buy a whole new wardrobe? Well, I did and it was fun and I now own some really great and professional pieces. However, can I just tell you that no matter how cute the jacket is or how perfect the shoes are... dressing up everyday sucks. And you know it's not like I can just throw on any old suit and be good to go. This place is a fashion parade. There is this drastic line of scrubs and biz formal. Biz formal means dressed to the nines, great hair, manicured nails, perfect and trendy heals and all the needed electronic devices. I now have to have a pager and my cell phone with me at all times, and the laptop must come home at night. Thank God I bought that $365 awesome briefcase!

Yes, my briefcase arrived yesterday. It is so awesome. It is made by Rawlings, yeah those people that make baseball gloves. It is made out of the same leather and is stitched just like a mitt. Totally cool. THanks to the hubby for letting me get it - it was my "Sweetest Day" presant :)

Some Stuff About Me

1. Number one priority in life is my baby girl, Madeline.
2. Number two priority is my marriage to high school sweetheart, Jerry.
3. The rest of my family is incredibly important to me, and we are very close.
4. I have one brother, who is about to turn 25.
5. My parents are both VERY young - my mom is 41 and my dad is 45.
6. I work in a hospital.
7. I am absolutely hands-down addicted to rubber stamping.
8. I've started a new obsessions recently - scrapbooking.
9. My parents come to visit Maddy every Wednesday night.
10. We're most likely moving in the next year - building a new house.
11. We built our first house, just three years ago.
12. My husband had an affair with my soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law, while I was pregnant.
13. My soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law committed numerous felonies using my name.
14. I love celebrity gossip news and read the trash everyday.
15. I want to get pregnant again next year.
16. I drive a 2004 black Mazda 6 to work, but when I have the baby I take the 2005 black Explorer.
17. I am extremely organized at work, but my house is an absolute mess.
18. I have a shopping addiction, and spend way too much money on clothes.
19. I dress my daughter a little like me... she wears khakis and jeans a lot, even though she's only 7 months old.
20. I go by "Amanda" at work, but "Mandy" everywhere else.
21. I love Mountain Dew.
22. I eat absolutely NO fruits or vegetables EVER.
23. I don't eat any condiments either (not ketchup, salad dressing, nothing).
24. I'm not very nice to my husband when I don't get my way.
25. I have major issues with my mother-in-law.
26. Jerry and I went through some major crap in high school, that resulted in Jerry being suspended from school and they took us out of the classes we had together... very long story.
27. #26 changed our relationship forever, made Jerry get some counseling and is the reason I am still married to him
28. I still need to lose like 20 pounds
29. I hate cleaning, and never do it.
30. My mom cleans my house a lot, and when she doesn't, I pay my aunt to come and do it.
31. I could spend thousands of dollars and more time I could ever have in a craft store.
32. I had to get rid of my dog a little more than a week ago, and I am very very sad about it.
33. I let my daughter cry sometimes.
34. There are usually dishes in my sink, unless I'm expecting company.
35. We have a hot tub, that gets used almost every night.
36. I let my laundry pile up until the door to the closet where the hamper is can't close anymore or I run out of underwear.
37. I have about a hundred pairs of underwear.
38. I really really loved being pregnant.
39. I cried when I packed up my maternity clothes.
40. I have a master's degree.
41. I have changed jobs a lot.
42. The longest I've worked somewhere is 2 1/2 years.
43. I'm 26 years old.
44. I've never even tried to smoke a cigarette.
45. I've never done any kind of illegal drugs - EVER.
46. I dated a drug dealer though :)
47. I can count the number of guys I've slept with on one hand.
48. My husband was my first, but not only.
49. I've never cheated on my husband.
50. I am a fanatical planner.
51. I finished my B.A. in three years. I was 20 when I graduated.
52. I went to Ohio Northern University.
53. I got my Master's three semesters later from The University of Akron.
54. I got married 6 months later.
55. I used ovulation kits to plan the conception of my daughter.
56. It worked the first time.
57. My daughter was conceived on the 4th of July.
58. My daugther was born on Good Friday.
59. I have pictures of my daughter plastering my new office.
60. I love to read, but never have time to do it.
61. I'm a democrat.
62. I've played softball nearly my entire life.
63. I played volleyball in high school.
64. I'm only 5' 1" tall.
65. I never got to play in the front row :)
66. I was in a major bad car accident about 12 years ago.
67. I broke my femur as a result, and have a metal rod and a few screws in there now.
68. I sometimes think about divorcing my husband.
69. But I don't want to, and know that I won't.
70. I really think about it at night when he's snoring the night away :)
71. My house is painted with really bright colors - yellow, orange, turquoise, lime green.
72. I wish we had money to invest in really great art for the walls.
73. I think my husband has more shoes than I do!
74. My brother and I are complete opposites, but we have a few things in common.
75. I'm a really creative person.
76. I look like my mom, but I'm built like my dad.
78. My daughter looks exactly like my husband.
79. My brother and I look like we should be boy/girl twins - same face, same smile.
80. We are 17 months apart.
81. I have 3 grandparents still living plus one great-grandma still living.
82. My mom's parents are only 61 years old.
83. I have a cousin that is only 4 years old.
84. My mom's sister is married to my dad's brother.
85. My dad has 6 brothers and one sister.
86. My mom has two brothers and one sister.
87. I never wanted a sister.
88. I am the total princess of my family.
89. I started this blog to write about my daughter, never dreaming of the drama that would take hold of my life these last few months.
90. I don't cook, at all really, but if I had time to learn, I would do it more.
91. My mom never cooked at all, so I'm completely clueless in the kitchen.
92. My mother-in-law is the best cook I know.
93. My husband teaches 5th grade, and loves it.
94. I don't have enough patience to be a teacher.
95. I love to write, and really enjoy my work.
96. I am the breadwinner in my family.
97. I love learning and strive to constantly be bettering myself.
98. I am extremely goal-oriented.
99. I was in a sorority in college - Alpha Xi Delta.
100. I value family and friends more than words could ever express.

Crazy Busy

I am crazy busy at work and at home. Things have just been so hectic. We had Maddy's first Halloween - she was absolutely adorable and loved seeing all the kids. I'll post pictures later. I have kind-of a crisis project to work on for the next day or two here at work. My brother is an idiot... we've all come to the conclusion that PIL needs psychiatric help, but I think he thinks that it will make everything ok if she gets that help, and he is terribly mistaken. I am doing my damdest to kick him in the ass and get him to take all the needed steps to get away from her, but I think he needs to see a shrink too for believing her lies for so long and still being sucked into her BS. Too much to get into here, but just know that this drama is far from over and it is driving me crazy.