Poor Maddy

She has pink eye now. Jer called the doctor this morning and they are calling her in some drops.

On top of that, she also slipped in the shower with me last night and hit her face. Her eye is all swollen today - the same eye that she has the pink eye in... Nice.

We were supposed to get her pictures taken tonight and take her to see Santa. I highly doubt that happens now...

Wow! What a week!

Well, first the exciting news... We are having another girl. Found out a week ago, and it still is sinking in. We are pretty sure we are going to name her Tess Alexandra, but it's not set in stone. The baby is doing very well and is healthy and moving around like crazy.

After we had the ultrasound last week, I started to get really sick. I was so mad because I had planned time off from work to get ready for Thanksgiving and for the big family shopping day and all, and I ended up REALLY sick. What started out as a cold turned into a massively bad sinus infection that spread into my teeth and gums, and then I had pink eye in both eyes on top of it all. It was awful!!! I finally got antibiotics on Saturday, and things are still working their way out. Today is by far the best day I've had in a week.

On top of the sickness, we moved Maddy to a "big girl" bed last week, which means that I spent a great deal of time laying in her bed with her and waking up with her a few times each night. Finally, last night she slept all through the night. And so did I... thank God because I had to come back to work today, and I was feeling so sleep deprived that I seriously had an hour-long meltdown yesterday and could not stop crying.

It was totally hormonal. I had no idea why I was crying, but I couldn't stop. I was crying so hard, I started to feel like I was hyperventilating. It was scary. I took a long bath and a nap after that and felt much better, but wow! I didn't really realize how worn out I really was.

I think so much of the problem was that even though I was sick, I still cooked Thanksgiving dinner and entertained 15 guests, and then went shopping like a crazy woman all day on Friday, and then put up two Christmas trees on Saturday, and tried shopping again on Sunday (only to go home early to crash on the couch). Too much. No resting.

Yesterday I was supposed to come back to work, but the pink eye was in full force, so I just worked from home. I sent Maddy to my MIL's and regrouped. I totally needed that to keep my sanity.

Anyhow, that's about it. Back to the grind now.

Just call me Martha...

This pregnancy has done something completely and totally bizarre to me... it has given me this intense desire to cook real meals and entertain family every weekend!!

In the past month, I have made homemade Italian wedding soup twice, tacos for 15 people, and a from-scratch lasagna! All of these meals were for either my whole family or Jerry's whole family, depending on the weekend. And, if you can believe this, I volunteered to have Thanksgiving at my house!

Now, let me just tell you that this so far out of the ordinary for me, and I don't quite think the family knows how to react to all of this. They are definitely enjoying all the food I am cooking, but this all just doesn't fit with the "Mandy" they know... It's throwing everything slightly off.

The Thanksgiving thing may or may not happen, depending on how stupid my aunt chooses to be... You see she has 4 kids - one mature 18-year-old daughter, and 3 younger hellion boys. She is not supporting this Thanksgiving move because she "doesn't feel comfortable having her boys in her new house." Yeah, well that's because she doesn't want to have to actually watch her children... because when she's at my grandma's house, she lets them run around and do whatever they want and destroy things and act like idiots until someone else yells at them. They are all extremely horribly behaved, and honestly I completely blame it on their lazy, inconsistent parenting.

Now, just so you know, when I volunteered to do Thanksgiving it was driven by this weird pregnancy cooking thing, but also because my grandma really doesn't want to do it anymore. She has Lupus and she had a bad heart attack a few years ago, and she just doesn't feel up to it. And when she was out at my house last weekend for tacos, she hinted around about having it at my house. I, of course, am not keen on having the yellion boys at my house either, but Jerry and I discussed it and said we would make some changes down in the basement and hook up a TV down there so they could bring the X-Box and whatever and we would make it work... I am completely annoyed at my aunt for thinking in such selfish terms and for the fact that she cannot control her children and that they are so badly behaved that she cannot bring them to a civilized Thanksgiving dinner. I'm sure this debate will continue until it is decided on whether or not we will have it at my house...

In my old house, we had Christmas there a couple of times and she was always the same way about it, and it was always fine. Pain in the ass. Learn how to control your children!

Relieved

My dad does NOT have to go to India. They found someone else to go who is single and doesn't have a lot of family.

I talked to my dad yesterday, and I could tell a little bit of him was sad about not going because he doesn't really get to travel out of the country much and I think he was slightly excited to go, but then he said he knew after about 2 weeks he would've been horribly homesick and wouldn't survive the rest of the trip. He admitted the worst part for him would've been not seeing Maddy for that long... I am so happy and relieved that he is NOT going!!

Surprising and Upsetting News

I found out last night that my dad might have to go to India for 3 months for work. They want him to leave in January, which means he wouldn't be back until the end of March/beginning of April, and will likely miss the birth of our new baby. This would also mean that he will miss Maddy's birthday and be away from all of us for 3 whole months!!!

This news totally bums me out, and seriously can bring me to tears at the thought of my dad missing everything.

It's not a definite thing, as they are trying to find someone to go in his place, but it doesn't look good. He will know for sure around Thanksgiving. I'm praying and keeping my fingers crossed that he does NOT have to go!

Doodlebops

Yesterday afternoon we took Maddy to see the Doodlebops Live! concert. I had no idea how she would react to this - the theater, the room full of kids, turning off the lights and loud music - but I will tell you that the astronomical amount of $ we spent on tickets (there were 6 adults and 3 children in our group) was worth every single penny and then some. She absolutely loved every single second of the experience. She clapped those little hands as hard as she possibly could, and she danced up and down the aisle the whole time they were on stage. When it was over, she looked at us and said, "more?" She was so damn cute. It literally brought tears to my eyes seeing how much she enjoyed it.

I will tell you the only downfall of the whole thing... you know those stupid flashlight things they sell at these types of events? Do you know how much those things cost these days? $20!!! Can you believe that?? $20 for a stupid flashlight. Of course, Maddy is still running around with hers today and yes, we were suckered for the $20, but that is beside the point... $20! I am so in awe of that price.

Now, we are going to drop some more serious cash to take her to see Sesame Street Live! in March...

Tomorrow is 17 weeks

So, currently I am 16 weeks pregnant. I had my routine appointment yesterday, and did the usual rundown of weight, blood pressure, pee test, etc., and then the doc came in to listen to the heartbeat. Once again it was a little challenging, and he had to lay my head back and basically stand me on my head to find the little booger, but eventually he did and all is well. This baby is much lower in my pelvis than Maddy ever was, and he/she likes to hide on all sides of the womb (never right in the middle). I always feel this baby brushing up against a hip bone. It's really nice to notice the differences, and really start to "feel" this baby. Our next appointment is the tell-all ultrasound, and let me tell you that November 21st cannot come fast enough!

I am dying to know the sex of this baby! My gut is that it is a boy, but I don't want to get my hopes up too much.

I've been having all of these thoughts run through my head lately about what it would be like to have another girl (since I really do want another boy), and I have a hard time imagining what it would be like for Maddy to have a sister. I think because I don't have a sister. It is hard for me to imagine her sharing that "daddy's girl" role, and for her not to be the only "princess" in the house. Again, all of this stemming from the fact that I don't have a sister, and I don't think I would've liked having a sister very much. I've talked to my family about this, and they all see where I'm coming from, as they know me very well and knew what I was like as a child and I would not have done very well if I would have had to share that "girly" spotlight.

I know this is all totally ridiculous, and I will be blessed no matter what the sex of the baby, but I still cannot imagine raising two children of the same sex, and how it would be to have two girls. Hmmm...

Jerry has been trying to convince me that it would be wonderful, because he WANTS another girl. And, he is also concerned that I will have a meltdown if it is not a boy. I don't think I would have a meltdown, but I do think I would shed a couple of disappointed tears. Now, don't yell at me for that, it is completely normal and more women cry about such a thing than you think. I had a conversation with several cousins about it over the weekend, and all who did not have what they had really wanted shed a few tears and then just sucked it up and now couldn't imagine life without their perspective children. And I know the same will be true for me!

So, yeah, tomorrow is the 17 week marker. All is well. Gained 3 pounds so far. Not too shabby. Counting down the days until the ultrasound... 25 more days!

Questions for my Husband

I have this list of questions about the affair that I've never asked my husband, because by the time they all poured into my head we were working hard to put it behind us, and he gets really upset if I bring it up now... I actually did ask a couple of questions when we were lying in bed Friday night, and he answered one and then said, "Mand, I really hate talking about this because it makes me feel so bad all over again." So, I dropped it, but here is the list of questions, I wish he would answer for me someday:
1. Did he feel guilty while he was actually doing this to me, or just after he got caught?
2. Would he still be doing this if he hadn't got caught? (This is the one I asked, and he said no, but he got mad when I asked why)
3. Does he ever wish he could still see her?
4. Does he ever think about her when we are messing around?
5. Why did he lie even after he got caught about the last time they did anything? (They tried denying that they had actually done anything while I was pregnant, I think just to protect me at the time)
6. Am I enough for him now?
7. Did they ever talk after they got caught?
8. How did he lose his self-control? And does he think it could happen again?
9. Did he ever think about leaving me for her?

Now, I must tell you that some of this was brought up when I first found out, and some it has been answered for me already at certain points in time, but now that it has been so long, I wonder if his perspective on the whole thing has changed at all.

Now, I also know that it has and that things are definitely different now and that our family is everything to him; however, I think I may have mentioned this in another post, but being pregnant has really brought thoughts of the affair to the forefront for me. I was actually doing some research on this the other day, and yeah, events and memories from the various points of the affair will resurface and cause major setbacks for recovery. I feel so bad because I don't want to think about this, and Jerry hasn't done anything to make me think anything at all. In fact, he's been pretty great about everything, but I'm serious when I tell you it is because I'm pregnant again and now everything makes me think about and compare things to when I was pregnant the first time. And the first time, in mid-December, I learned about the affair. So, now I look back and think about the signs and what I missed and how I didn't know.

On Friday night, we had a wonderful night. Maddy stayed with my parents, and we went out to dinner and shopping together and then just snuggled on the couch for a while before heading up to bed. We had some fun in bed, and then I made this comment about how we've been messing around SO much more this pregnancy than we ever did the first time. And all of a sudden the thoughts came on like a flood about why... I totally didn't mean to ruin our moment or our evening, but his comment about feeling bad was the last thing he said before he fell asleep and I laid there for a while feeling like an idiot for ruining our nice night for nothing. It makes me really angry at her. I still cannot comprehend how any woman could ever sleep with a man KNOWING he was married and KNOWING his wife was pregnant??? Let alone when the wife is your friend/soon-to-be sister-in-law! Seriously, she is a sick messed up bitch who is running around the streets unmedicated and without psychiatric treatment which she desperately needs! She is the textbook definition of mental illness in the walking human form. Yes, before you go thinking it, I am still angry at Jerry too. Angry that he couldn't control his hormones that he could so easily lie to me for so long and that he could actually do something so cruel to me, but we've hashed out a lot about the "why's" for him and I have a clear insight about that, and I do know that a great deal of it started at her invitation. (I have actual email proof of this, not just Jerry's word) She was a fucking psychotic whore that truly wanted to take away my life and make it her own. I firmly believe that she never really loved my brother, but rather used him in her plot to get some kind-of fantasy world life that she would steal from me. Yes, she is messed up enough to plot and scheme and do this for several years if she thought the outcome would be what she really wanted.

So, enough of this. I am hoping this post can be therapeutic for me and I can stop thinking about this for the next 5 months! Bah! I have absolutely no reason to dwell on this. Jerry and I have a beautiful daughter and our marriage is great and we are about to have another wonderful child. I need to focus on this time and the now, and STOP obsessing about the past!. End of discussion.

Something Fun

ABC of me...
[A is for age:] 27
[B is for bread of choice:] White
[C is for favorite candy:] Kit Kat
[D is for your fave Disney character's name:] Cinderella
[E is for essential items you use everyday] Blackberry
[F is for favorite song at the moment:] Tim McGraw "My Little Girl"
[G is for favorite game:] Corn Hole
[H is for hometown:] Brunswick
[I is for instruments you play:] Clarinet
[J is for jam or jelly you like:] None
[K is for kids:] 1 and 1 on the way
[L is for last kiss:] Jerry this morning
[M is for your dad's and mom's jobs:] Engineer & Accountant
[N is for name of your first crush:] Rudy Comer
[O is for overnight hospital stays:] 2005 when Maddy was born, 1993 car accident
[P is for phobias:] Clausterphobic
[Q is for quotes you like:] Lots
[R is your relationship that lasted the longest]: Married to Jerry for 4 1/2 years, but together for 12
[S is for sugary or salty - which one?: Sugary
[T is for time you wake up:] 5:45 a.m.
[U is for underwear:] Right now, it's lovely maternity underwear
[V is for vegetables you love]: Absolutely none.
[W is for worst habit:] texting on my blackberry while driving
[X is for x-rays you've had:] My femur when I broke it in the car accident in 1993.
[Y is for yummy food you make:] Italian Wedding Soup
[Z is for favorite zoo animal:] Monkeys

The Joys of Motherhood

Madeline has hit an incredibly fun age. She is now 18 months old, and she is absolutely hilarious. She has a few new "tricks" that she is doing these days that just bring a big old smile to my face:

If you ask her "how does a ghost go" she will cover her eyes and then do a really fast, surprise "Boo!" It's so funny because she says "boo" with a little southern twang for some reason. Too cute!

She is also all about "eskimo kisses" or rubbing noses. She will come up and climb in your lap just to do that. Melts your heart.

She says the word "dude." Cracks me up every time.

She likes to "swim" in the bath tub when the water is going out. She lays on her back and swishes her head back and forth and kicks her feet. Have no idea why or where this idea came from.

She thinks her potty chair is a great toy box and/or place to hide things.

We are on a continuous rotation of DVD's these days: Nemo, "Mermaid," and Madagascar. Her Shrek addiction seems to have died down.

I think the best part now though is that she has definite opinions about what she wants to eat, what she wants to do, who she wants to hold her or give her a bath. She will tell you too. It's so funny to see her assert herself. Sometimes she actually has an opinion about her clothes, which tells me I am in for some fun days ahead.

She is very good and saying "no." Especially when she is sitting in time out and I ask her if she is sorry or if she is going to behave now, "No, mom, No." Nice. 18 months old and already a rebel!

Anyhow, she is such a trip and I just love watching her figure things out on her own and form her own opinions and ideas. It's amazing. It really makes me look forward to the new little one and doing it all over again.

Will it ever stop?

The title of this post could really lead me in several directions - work, home, etc., but really what is on my mind that I haven't/can't talk to anyone about is the whole Tracy (Ex-psycho-in-law) situation. You see, lately I have been thinking about her and all that she did more than ever - for several reasons. One, I'm pregnant again, so I constantly think about when I was pregnant with Maddy and how this one compares, which means I think about the fact that Jer was cheating on me at this time in that pregnancy and I didn't even know it, and so I think back now on the opportunities they had and the when's and where's of how they were hooking up. Like, I remember when I was 11 weeks pregnant with Maddy I went to LA for work, and I'm sure they had some fun then. I remember this really weird moment at my aunt's chili dinner in early October when I was pregnant with Maddy, when I saw the two of them talking from a distance and then smile at each other, which was weird and I had this gut feeling something was weird and I even made some sarcastic comment about it and he got all irate about how I could possibly think that. I remember that the Thursday before I found out, I was driving home from work and for some reason the thought crossed my mind that those two could really be doing something and I would never know - I obsessed the whole ride home about it, and then said to myself, there is no way he would ever do that. And I felt guilty when I got home, because he was all dressed nice and had on cologne and I said, "Oh, where are you going? To see your girlfriend?" and he said, "No, I'm going to go shopping for you for your Christmas presants." Well, it turns out, that they were planning to meet up that night, but something came up with my brother and she couldn't meet him, so he went shopping instead out of guilt. I remember all of these things, and these times, and it makes me ache all over. One really vivid memory is of a conversation I had with her once in my kitchen. Jerry and my brother were watching something on TV, and Jerry made a comment about some hot chick on the show, and she asked me why stuff like that didn't bother me, and I looked her straight in the face and I said, "Because I know it doesn't mean anything. He would never cheat on me or anything. I just trust him like that." And now, I think how hard she must've been laughing inside. What an idiot I was.

It has been exactly one year since I found out about the credit card shit too, which is another reason I think about her, because I think back to this time last year and what we were going through... Thinking it might be her, but not knowing for sure, and feeling bad for accusing her and listening to her lie to us all for weeks, until MBNA called to confirm that it was her. I was home for a few weeks, at this time last year, in between leaving my old job and starting this one. Maddy had just started crawling, she had cut her first tooth, and she said "Mama" for the first time while I was home. My brother moved in with my parents. They didn't even get their wedding pictures back before he moved out.

I think about their wedding, and realize now that I should've known it wouldn't work out. I remember sitting in the limo at the far end with the groomsmen (Jerry and a few of my brother's fraternity brothers) and they were taking bets on how long it would last and how many fights they would have just on their wedding day. How wrong is that? On our limo ride, on our wedding day, Jerry's groomsmen were massaging my feet and telling me I was beautiful and how lucky Jerry was... Everyone got really drunk and my brother's wedding, including me, I think because the day wasn't about a happy couple or a strong marriage, it was a really expensive party that cost everyone a fortune for no reason. I feel so bad for my brother. When the wedding pictures did come back, she sent some to my mom. There is this picture, it's in a drawer in my parents' den now, of my brother holding her ring with this big smile on his face and he looks so happy... I haven't seen that smile since that day, and it breaks my heart.

And the really ironic thing is that even though I know how awful she is and how much she hurt my whole family, there are days when I miss her, because before I knew about all the BS, for 7 1/2 years, she was my friend. She stamped with me, the four of us went out together, she helped with every party and every family event. And I think this "missing her" mentality has been worse since my brother got this new girlfriend that is horrible.

This new girl is so young and naive, and she has no respect for herself and she has no idea how to be a good mother. Her 3 year old daughter is a nightmare, and this chick is just clueless. I so badly want to pull her aside and tell her to wake up and make some changes if she really wants to be with my brother and have my family semi-support the relationship, but it is not my place to do so. I don't want to make her my friend. I'm not ready to go down that road again, and I don't know if I ever will be.

I would give anything, ANYTHING, for one drive home, one drive to work, one minute when I'm home alone, that I do NOT think about Tracy and the affair. This December will be 2 years since I found out, and I still check the cell phone bills, and I still doublecheck his plans and have a hard time with it all. I just have to wonder if it will ever stop... if after I have the baby, and these pregnancy hormones die down it will get better (because, honestly it was WAY better before I was pregnant again, I was well on my way to getting past it). I've got 6 more months to go, and like I said, I would give ANYTHING for just one day without these thoughts and questions running through my mind!

Sorry

Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything, but it's been a little busy in my world. Last week I was in NYC for three days for work, and I've been catching up ever since.

Tuesday was my 12 week doctor visit. We got to hear the baby's heartbeat for the first time. Very reassuring and brought a big smile to my face. Maddy also had her 18-month well visit on Tuesday. She's tall and skinny, which is hilarious considering the stature of her parents! She is in the 30% for weight and 75% for height!

Work is still insane. I can't even begin to tell you how crazy it has been.

At home, we are in the middle of building a deck, putting in a stone patio and having our grass put in. Jerry is really busy with all of that. Stuff is being delivered today and tomorrow, and he's going to be tied up all weekend.

Had stamping last night, and the second group comes tonight. Love this time of year because all the projects I did are Halloween and really fun.

Oh well, I've gotta run. I've got a million things to do today!

Holy Cow

This has probably been the craziest week of my professional life - no joke. I had started writing a post earlier in the week about how crazy things were, but I'm glad I held off because I never thought in a million years they could actually get this bad...

So, I had two "crises" happen here in two days and for anyone in PR, you know what a "crisis" can do to your day! On Tuesday, I had 45 minutes to write a press release and send it to a SVP! Today, yet another emergency press release that is currently being reviewed by a million people and absolutely must go out on Monday morning (despite the fact that they decided we needed to do this last night). I have been on my cell phone and answering pages every night this week - including several in the middle of the night concerning car accidents and child poisonings. I have coordinated 2 video shoots, and am finalizing all the details for a NYC trip on Tuesday! Oh yeah, and I am coordinating the efforts to compile the answers to a 35-page killer survey that we have to send in on the 26th for critical rankings... Totally couldn't be any busier, possibly. Oh, and did I mention we are in the middle of our 3-day radiothon and that I have to come in and work tomorrow because we have a TV station broadcasting live for 2 hours! I LOVE MY JOB.

I have been absolutely exhausted every night, and things are not going to slow down until the 26th, which I am taking as a vacation day because I have my next dr. appt. and Maddy has a well visit also that morning. We will be taking a major nap that afternoon!

Have a great weekend! Jer, Maddy and I are off to enjoy a high school football game tonight (to watch Jer's cousin play).

Family Drama Continues

Alright so many of you know I've had a lot of drama involving my brother in recent months, well the saga continues...

For the last several months my brother had been living in an apartment with my recently-divorced uncle. The apartment was small and crappy and above a dive, hole-in-the-wall bar, but it meant that brother didn't have to live with my parents and my uncle had a roof over his head as well. OK, fine.

I should also mention that my uncle was recently-divorced because he is a raging alcoholic and pain killer addict. So, yeah. Alcoholic rents apartment above a bar. Nice.

Now, I also need to tell you that my brother has a dog - a pug. And, that he's got a new girlfriend that he's spending an awful lot of time with...

Apparently on Thursday night, the dog shit in my uncle's bed and when my brother got home, my uncle started yelling (rightfully so); however, he was loaded and got physical with my brother (which is not ok). So, my brother locked himself in his room and called my dad.

My dad came and moved my brother back in with my parents.

So now, there is a lot of family drama around all of these events.

First, my uncle cannot afford to live in the apartment by himself and now has to find a new place to live or a new roommate. My grandmother hands-down says he is NOT moving in with them. My uncle and my brother are not speaking to each other, which put a little rift into my cousin's birthday party on Saturday.

Now, this also means more stress for my mom, because my brother and his dog are now living with her again. The dog sheds and barks a lot, and my mom is a total neat freak. And it's already driving her nuts (again). My brother's new girlfriend is also a source of tension, as she is a little rough around the edges and has a three year old little girl, named Maddie. None of us are big fans, and actually really oppose the relationship, but he is already heads-in with it, and sees her like every single day.

The other big problem is that he's talking about buying a house with this girl, whom he has known for all of two months, which is just ridiculous for so many reasons. Primary reason #1 is that he owes my parents $15,000!!!! They paid off his credit card debt that the bitch left him with and paid for his DUI mess. He cannot afford a house. And then of course there is the issue of the committment a house requires... But anyhow, this is all causing great stress for my mom, which of course is what I hear about.

Now, all of this wouldn't be so bad if you could have a rational conversation with my brother about all of these things, but of course you can't, because he just freaks out and gets hyper-defensive.

So - drama continues.

And you know what kills me? It all started with that stupid psycho bitch!!!

So Different

I'm only 8 weeks along and already this pregnancy is so different than the first. When I was pregnant with Maddy, being pregnant consumed me. It was all I thought about. The pregnancy was everything, and I think because of that I didn't notice the signs of the affair. I say this in retrospect because now that I'm pregnant again, one of the big differences this time is Jerry, and the way he's been to me and about this baby. He's much more attentive and in-tune with me this time, even though I'm not as caught up in the pregnancy. I just think back and realize how blinded I was to everything.

I go back and re-read the journal I kept during my pregnancy with Maddy, and there are so many entries about how I thought something was wrong with Jerry and all these things I was doing to be nicer to him and wondering what was wrong with me. I remember so many things he said to me, that now I can't believe I didn't see it.

It really makes me sick to my stomach to think that even though he knew we were having a baby, and even when he knew it was a girl, and when she had a name, and everything that he still continued to see her.

Finding out made me question whether or not I knew him at all, and now that I look back on everything, I did know him and if I had been a little less caught up in myself and the baby, I would've seen it. Because seriously, I can't quite explain it in words, but this time around he is just so different. And I haven't said anything or brought any of this up at all. It's just his reactions this time, so much better.

Madeline's reaction to all of this that she now thinks my belly button is also called a "baby." When you ask her "where's mommy's baby?" she will lift up my shirt and point to my belly button. It's rather cute. Having her and playing with her is what consumes me, and this pregnancy is kind-of second nature to that. I think because right now all I'm dealing with are the horrible hormonal side effects - nauseous, headaches, fatigue.

Anyhow, some random ramblings. But the feelings this time on many fronts are just so different.

Nauseous to the Depths of My Soul

I have been horribly horribly nauseous since Thursday. Won't go away no matter what I do, and eating only seems to make it worse. I haven't wanted to do much of anything (including work) at all because I have felt so bad. I seem to be slightly, just slightly, better this morning, but ugh... I was never this bad with Maddy.

Doctor Visit

Had the first doctor visit yesterday. Went ok. They took 4 tubes of blood, and now I have a monstrous bruise on my arm. My official due date is April 7th. I will be having a scheduled c-section this time (my choice). I go back again in two weeks (for the 8 week check-up) and then after that it will be every 4 weeks for a while. Jer and Maddy came with me. Maddy was awful. She didn't want to sit still and eventually Jer took her out to the car and fed her some fruit snacks while I finished up.

Jer is having an EKG today and a chest x-ray and some blood work done today. It's all precautionary/preventative. Just to make sure there's nothing major going on. They are also testing his uric acid levels to see how his gout is doing. Poor guy. He's pretty freaked out about it all. He's supposed to call later and let me know how things go.

Oh well, back to the grind. I'll keep you posted on all fronts...

Thanks Honey

Alright so last week, my hubby was trying to be all sweet and nice because he knew I was feeling pretty crappy. (This pregnancy is so different from Maddy - I am so tired all the time no matter how much I sleep) So, he bought me flowers, which was really sweet. And then on Thursday, he "did all this laundry" for me. I was ecstatic about this when I walked in the door and he told me. Woo-hoo! I had this mountain and it was so overdue, but I just had been too tired. I was so happy UNTIL I walked upstairs into our bedroom and saw IT.

The mountain of dirty clothes was now the mountain of clean clothes in the middle of our bedroom floor!!! Ugh. He said, "all you have to do is fold them and put them away." Yeah, ok. I had stamping that night and I was already tired and looking forward a quick nap before people starting coming. I was so pissed.

I'm not talking like 2 loads of clothes. We're talking like 6-7 loads, and it wasn't just my laundry. This was his clothes, Maddy's clothes, towels, everything...

Please tell me how this helps me? He did the "fun" part of laundry, and left the rest for me.

But, did I complain or say one word to him about it? No. I just said, "Thanks, honey."

Maddy Things

Being pregnant again has really made me appreciate how Madeline has come, and how far I have come as a mother, in just these last 16 months.

Madeline can now point out when asked a cow, a zebra, monkey, elephant, giraffe, snake, pigs, bunnies, birds, and fish. She has several books with all of these animals in them, and it is her favorite game now - she absolutely gets giddy from the praise when she is correct.

She knows every single Sesame Street character, and can show you who's who.

She can call you that a cow goes, "Mmmmm." And a dog pants, not barks (she will stick her tongue out and everything). She will raise her arm like an elephant truck and try to make an elephant sound that sounds more like a fart.

She thinks farts are very funny. She will force herself to fart and laugh outloud.

If you ask Madeline if she is going to be a big sister, she will give you this huge grin that cracks me up everytime, but if you ask her if she wants mommy to have another baby, you will get a full body shaking no.

She has taken to walking on her tiptoes all the time now.

She is an absolute fish in the water - loves it. And as a result is a total Coppertone kid. White butt and all.

She gives big squeeze hugs, which I adore, and will give kisses without being prompted :)

She gets very upset if we don't play "her" music in the car and will point at the radio with a loud screech until the specific song she wants on is playing.

Madeline is absolutely fascinated with rocks. Anywhere and everywhere if there is a rock, she will find it and accordingly throw it, pick it up and throw it again, and again.

She is not shy at all, and waives hello to everyone she passes and flashes those big blues with an even bigger smile.

Yesterday, my aunt brought us an ice cream cake that said "Congratulations Mandy, Jerry and Maddy," and it had pink and blue flowers on it. Madeline devoured all the blue flowers and is now a permanently stained smurf.

She is so damn cute. I can't even put it into words, and I am just having a hard time imagining how I will contain myself if the new baby is half as much fun!

We went grocery shopping on Saturday, and Maddy was all about being a big helper. Everything I put in the cart, she grabbed and checked it out for a few minutes and then threw it back in... she had to make sure we were buying all the right things. And when she saw Shrek fruit snacks on the shelf, she freaked out by letting out the biggest, "OOOOOOHHHHHH," I have ever heard. She held onto the box through the rest of our shopping trip. Then, when we went to check-out she helped put all the stuff up on the conveyor belt, and clapped when we were all done. She waived good-bye to the cashier and gave her mama a big kiss on the way out! Now, if only she can stay this way....

Work Function

Horror story from last night:

I had to attend this work function last night, a big fancy cocktails/dinner type deal. I absolutely hate these types of things - these are my big social situation fear, especially when you don't know too many people. See there were a lot of people from the hospital there that I know; however, the majority of the guests were these bigwig donors (like multi-millionaires). Everyone was sipping their colorful cocktails, and I kind-of panicked because it was one of those events where the drinks were brought around by cute little waitresses, and since I can't drink, I just kind-of stood around feeling a little awkward. There were some people who spoke and there was entertainment, and that was really nice. There was a fountain in the middle of the floor, and some lady fell in! That was kinda funny, especially because she was some fancy rich lady and she was drenched from head to toe.

Now, I hate "mingling" and will usually cling to a small group or at least one person that I know. Well, that wasn't really possible at this event and I kind-of got nervous and just keep walking all over the place.

Then it was time for dinner, and I don't even know what they were serving but the smell of it made me want to puke everywhere, so I decided I should just take off. I had stayed for the formal festivities and I felt completely out of place, so I found my purse, handed over my valet ticket and took off...

Oh wait, I forgot a really funny part... I have to park like a million miles away from my office at work, so last night I was heading out the parking garage and then going to the party. Well, I changed into my comfy flipflops for the walk to the parking garage. I got to the party, started to get out of the car for the valet to park it, when I realized I still had my flipflops on. Had to like intervene quickly and steel my heels out of the car before the valet took off. Slightly embarassing, but I don't think anyone really saw me.

Those kinds of things just are not my cup of tea. Sure the place was gorgeous with an absolutely amazing view of the lake, and yeah, everything was all fancy and fun. But the people. I just felt so out of place. I cannot "schmooze" very well, and just going up to random people and introducing yourself just doesn't feel right to me.

And yeah, I'm not really telling people at work that I'm pregnant for a LONG time and so I didn't want to end up getting sick there. I think all in all leaving was the best decision.