Lunch Time

So, it's noon. Time when I'm supposed to be eating lunch, but I've decided that in the situation I am in, eating is really not an option. You see my brother is getting married on Aug. 6, and I am supposed to wear this pink monstrosity that is the bridesmaid dress. Well, as I told you, I just had a baby, so I am trying to lose the more than "25-35" of recommended weight gain from the pregnancy. The last time I tried on this dress, it barely zipped and looked completely horrible. Because of course, the "bitch-in-law" as I have named her (but that's a whole nother story), had to pick out dresses when I was 5 months pregnant and had no clue what size to order. So, I am fighting this terrible battle now, all for the sake of this pink dress and the fact that my entire family is going to be taking photos of me that I will be seeing for the rest of life. I really do want to look nice too - Maddy is going down the aisle with Jerry and I, and the pics will be priceless! Oh, and I have to pay $60 for my hair to be "done up," so I really don't want to look like a complete fat ass with nice hair :) At any rate, I'm not eating lunch.

I had a bagel from Panera this morning and smothered it with Hazelnut cream cheese, and I'm feeling incredibly fat. Granted, I brought the bagels in myself, because we have this lovely area in our department known as our "cafe" and we take turns each week bringing in food (yet we all wonder why we can't lose any weight). So, it's my turn this week and I forgot until I was on my way in this morning and Panera just happens to be right on the corner by work. So, I ate a fattening bagel with cream cheese and now feel like lunch is out of the question. Although I'm going to the mall with Maddy after work, so fast food is probably on the menu for dinner and the lack of lunch will really make no difference, I'm still going to stick out the hour without scarfing down food. And ya know, Aaron (my co-worker) had his birthday yesterday, so we're going out to lunch tomorrow to celebrate at this lovely place known as the Jigsaw and we'll eat some fried bar food. We went out on Friday for my birthday - Macaroni Grill, I love their garlic cream sauce!

I have all intentions of exercising to lose weight for this wedding, and I think about it a lot. I've taken Maddy on walks and am playing softball, but the really kick-butt exercising has yet to make it into my routine. I've asked the hubby to pull out my elyptical machine (had to have that a couple of years ago and now it's in the storage area of our basement) but he hasn't done it yet, so that works well as an excuse. As does the baby and family obligations, but I really really have to do something in the next couple of weeks!

This wedding is probably going to be the topic of a lot of posts in the coming weeks - bachelorette party is July 9th, and all this BS for it is coming up. It doesn't help that I'm not really a fan of HER - considering she had an affair with my husband WHILE I WAS PREGNANT!!! Don't even ask - it was the worst time of my life and it affects my marriage every single day and I cannot even believe my brother is still marrying that whore!!! And I stayed with Jerry only because of the baby, but we are totally working on things, and I must say I don't think "we" have ever really been closer than we are now. But, anyhow I hate her and I think you can understand why. My family doesn't know any of this, so everyone else is all chipper and happy about this wedding. I have to put on a show as a bridesmaid, but she knows better than to expect too much out of me. I really just can't wait to see Maddy in her pink dress and I want to be a good sister for my brother - he deserves it after what the bitch and Jerry put us through - OH, and Jerry is in the wedding too. How crazy is that! Yeah.