Oh my gosh. I don't think I have ever been more stressed out about work than I have been this week. Things are ABSOLUTELY INSANE. First of all, most of you probably heard that my place of employment has decided not to separate those conjoined twins that have been my life for the past 8 months. Yeah, that press conference on Monday was absolute hell, and it all happened under the mastery of our new SVP (a.k.a. new boss was watching us all under fire).
The good thing is that I came out on top and the new boss is loving my work, which is a good thing. But it is also meaning upping the anty and increasing expectations and MORE work! Crazy!!!
Last night, Jerry was all hot and bothered and I was having none of it because I just could NOT relax. I was so tense and crabby and I just wanted to sleep. I'm not his favorite person today :)
Oh yeah, big night tonight for Maddy.... High School Musical 2 party!!! Woo-hoo. Fun times. We have a few kid coming over to watch the movie with her, and she's got a new T-shirt and stuff (yes, the girl is only 2!). She loves it though, and I am honestly looking forward to it myself. I can honestly recite every word of the first one because we have watched it so much!
Friday, August 17, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
My life summarized in a brief moment...
Last night, I was carrying Emma upstairs to get her jammies on and get her ready for bed, when she gets all fussy and wants her night time bottle. So, I get her jammies on, lay her in the crib and run down to make a bottle. On the way back up to screaming baby, Madeline clings to my leg (wearing nothing but a diaper) and says, "Mommy, I want jammies too." When I am about 3/4 of the way up the steps, my cell phone is ringing and it's work...
At this moment, I realize, "Wow, this is my life totally encapsulated in one moment." This whole time, my husband was on the couch watching ESPN. He. never. moved.
I was trying to feed Emma said bottle and get her to sleep and Maddy still wants her jammies on, but now she is dancing around Emma's room holding her purse and saying "Momma, dance wif me." I somehow manage to get Emma to sleep, Maddy in a clean diaper and jammies and scarf down some dinner when my husband finally looks up at me and says, "You finally got to eat, huh?"
Wow. How nice of him. Oh yeah, before that he did yell up when my cell phone was ringing to tell me that it was my boss.
If anyone ever asked him about this moment and why he wasn't helping me upstairs that whole time, he would tell you it is because he had the girls all day, which is total BS because they were at his mom's and his grandma's house yesterday which means he didn't have to do shit with them! Seriously, nice.
Why is it that moms always have to do everything?
At this moment, I realize, "Wow, this is my life totally encapsulated in one moment." This whole time, my husband was on the couch watching ESPN. He. never. moved.
I was trying to feed Emma said bottle and get her to sleep and Maddy still wants her jammies on, but now she is dancing around Emma's room holding her purse and saying "Momma, dance wif me." I somehow manage to get Emma to sleep, Maddy in a clean diaper and jammies and scarf down some dinner when my husband finally looks up at me and says, "You finally got to eat, huh?"
Wow. How nice of him. Oh yeah, before that he did yell up when my cell phone was ringing to tell me that it was my boss.
If anyone ever asked him about this moment and why he wasn't helping me upstairs that whole time, he would tell you it is because he had the girls all day, which is total BS because they were at his mom's and his grandma's house yesterday which means he didn't have to do shit with them! Seriously, nice.
Why is it that moms always have to do everything?
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Can you ever really have it all?
So, a while ago my mom bought me this T-shirt that says, "This Mom has it all." And when she gave it to me, she said, I'm always in such awe of all the things you juggle and how you manage all the different parts of your life so well. And, I laughed out loud.
I guess I've spent my whole life believing that I could have it all - a great career, a family, good friends, etc. But now that a lot of those things are reality, I think my belief is that you can have a "little bit" of it all, but you can never really fully embarass it all at the same time.
What I mean is that I truly love my job and what I do, and I'm on a great career path here, but when I stop and think about what I give up to have that... time with my girls, constantly checking my blackberry even when I'm spending time with my girls, time to talk and catch up with my friends and enjoying more time on hobbies... I realize that when things are going really great at work, and I'm flying high, it usually means that I've been so wrapped up in work that I haven't been home with the girls as much or that I haven't spent any time with my husband. A couple of weeks ago, I was in the hot tub with Jer, and he said we can talk about whatever you want, but I DON'T want to hear anything about work. I stopped and had nothing really to talk about... And, when I'm really focused on things happening with my family (like last week when Emma had her 4 month well visit and we took Maddy to Kalahari), I missed time at work and was freaking out about messages I was getting and who would need me when I wasn't here...
So, I guess when I heard my mom say that I juggle it all so well, I realized that she has no idea how hard it really is for me and that I feel like I'm failing at the balancing act miserably!
I think things are on track with everything today, and I feel very blessed to have all the things and people I have in my life. I just wonder if these constant internal battle will ever end?
There is a constant guilty conscience-type feeling that I think all working moms have, and I'd love to know how other moms handle it, especially those with jobs that require a lot of off-hour work/access??
I guess I've spent my whole life believing that I could have it all - a great career, a family, good friends, etc. But now that a lot of those things are reality, I think my belief is that you can have a "little bit" of it all, but you can never really fully embarass it all at the same time.
What I mean is that I truly love my job and what I do, and I'm on a great career path here, but when I stop and think about what I give up to have that... time with my girls, constantly checking my blackberry even when I'm spending time with my girls, time to talk and catch up with my friends and enjoying more time on hobbies... I realize that when things are going really great at work, and I'm flying high, it usually means that I've been so wrapped up in work that I haven't been home with the girls as much or that I haven't spent any time with my husband. A couple of weeks ago, I was in the hot tub with Jer, and he said we can talk about whatever you want, but I DON'T want to hear anything about work. I stopped and had nothing really to talk about... And, when I'm really focused on things happening with my family (like last week when Emma had her 4 month well visit and we took Maddy to Kalahari), I missed time at work and was freaking out about messages I was getting and who would need me when I wasn't here...
So, I guess when I heard my mom say that I juggle it all so well, I realized that she has no idea how hard it really is for me and that I feel like I'm failing at the balancing act miserably!
I think things are on track with everything today, and I feel very blessed to have all the things and people I have in my life. I just wonder if these constant internal battle will ever end?
There is a constant guilty conscience-type feeling that I think all working moms have, and I'd love to know how other moms handle it, especially those with jobs that require a lot of off-hour work/access??
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