Less than one week until the BIL and my brother make it official. I must say that this is probably going to be the hardest thing I will ever do in my entire life... stand by and watch someone I love very much marry someone that I hate with every breath I take. It is going to take every ounce of strength I have to stand up (in the wedding party) and not blurt out when they ask if anyone objects. I just really pray that he knows what he's doing...
I still have doubts every day that staying with Jerry was the right decision, and I know dam well that if we hadn't been married and pregnant at the time, I would be a single woman today. There is no way in hell if I were in my brother's shoes that I would've stayed with or forgiven her, but whatever.
So, in 5 days I will go get my hair done and my make-up done with her, go to her mom's to get ready with the girls and put on the pink monstrosity that she picked out. I will stand in her photos and pretend to be a supportive sister. I will do my duties with a smile, but I will not, at any point of the day, really be "happy" for her. It's just more a half-assed obligatory feeling of support for them.
The only good thing about that day is Maddy's little dress! I just can't wait to have some nice pics taken of the three of us all decked out.
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Oh yeah, my brother knows. They were engaged at the time, and he's the one that caught them (with emails) and told me. It was horrible for my entire family - my parents know too, but not anyone else. I must give them a little bit of credit though - they have really worked on their relationship in the last 6 months (since this happened). They are better, and we are all civil to each other - there's just a lot of things that run through my head that I just keep to myself b/c I don't want to upset my brother. He and I have had really long talks about alot of this, and I was fine with things for a while until the wedding started quickly approaching. It's crazy. Totally bizarre and something you'd see on a soap opera.
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