Sad Update

Sorry for the week of non-posts. I came in to work last Tuesday and got a phone call early in the a.m. from my mom... my grandpa passed away. Remember back in Sept. when my grandma died? Well her husband just didn't want to live without her and passed away 2 months and 12 days later. It was really sad. I guess my dad and all of his siblings were called to the hospital and then they took him off the ventilator and they were all in the room as he took his last breaths. It was hard with the holiday thrown in there, but the viewing was Wednesday and the funeral was Friday.

I have to tell you that the funeral was pretty interesting... You see my grandpa was a real "old" style southern Baptist man. He would drive out into the boonies to go to church every Sunday evening by himself. He loved going and he went every week until he was too sick to drive himself anymore.

I didn't know too much about his church except for what my dad had told me, which was that he was forced to go as a child and was terrified of it. Now, I tell you this story not to pass judgment on anyone's religious beliefs or practices, but just to share my experience and what my family experienced on Friday. This is simply a narrative of the funeral told me from a non "old regular Baptist" point of view....

At any rate, after spending time at the hospital on Tuesday and then with his siblings, he came over to my house to take a nap and visit Maddy. He starts telling me that it is my grandpa's church's custom to have a 3 day and 3 night around the clock prayer/preaching vigil with the body... typically in the home. He said that the family vetoed that idea. None of them were up for that, plus with Thanksgiving in the mix it just really wasn't what the family wanted to do. Their compromise was to have grandpa's preacher and church "folk" do the service at the funeral home on Friday. And wow did they ever do the service.

We sat in the funeral home listening to them for more than 2 hours. It started with this really loud chanting/singing of these hymns that were really intense and to me, a bit harsh and scary about death and the soul. Anyhow, they were really really loud.

Now, I must add a disclaimer here and tell you that this is really hard to put into words... the intensity of these people and the reactions of the various family members...

Three preachers talked for about a half hour each, and there was another half hour of nothing but this loud chanting/singing.

I should preface this with the fact that the funeral home was packed with people. No one else in my family is this old-school Baptist. Many of us are Baptists, but we belong to more modern congregations and have never been exposed to this type of service.

So, when these preachers "talked" it wasn't really talking. It was more like this weird singing type of preaching, and they would get really into it and get louder and louder and they would be gasping for air between words. It was so bizarre to me. Every couple of minutes they would walk around and hug all the brothers and my aunt, and then shake hands with all the spouses. I think my dad was hugged by these men like 30 times throughout the service. Then, when they would pray, they would all literally get down on the ground and like lay down. This is fine, but when you're not expecting it and all of a sudden this group of men just starts laying on the ground, people all just look around and kind of freak out a little bit.

Now, I think the 2 hour service would have been tolerable had they spent the time reminiscing and sharing stories about my grandpa. But I think the only thing they said about him was "He was a quiet man who loved the church." The rest of that two hours was spent telling everyone that if they were not born again they were going to hell and they would never see my grandpa again. I heard about the fires of hell and damnation and how you need to have the love of Jesus in your heart and you need to be "borned again" or you would not be saved.

This is fine to an extent, because the majority of my family believes this as well - you need to accept Jesus into your life and believe in Him to go to Heaven. However, we did not need to hear it a hundred times in the course of an hour. And we did not need to be threatened like that in a time of grief. It was just so bizarre and so long...

At one point, I seriously think half of the people there were out in the lobby or outside.

By the time they wrapped it up, everyone was aggrevated and annoyed and really freaked out. Nice way to say goodbye to a "quiet man."

They told them they could not do this at the cemetary, that they had to keep it short. So, we get to the cemetary and it's snowing and it's freezing cold and they sing and pray again. They did keep it short, but they did lay down in the snow to pray. I'll give them some credit, the song they sang there was nice, and I will remember it always, "Gone away with a Friend." I know that's what my grandpa did. He's with Jesus and my grandma now, and he's not sick or suffering anymore. I'm just really sad for my Dad. To lose both parents within a couple months of each other.

At any rate... it's strange to say goodbye to an entire set of grandparents and almost end a chapter in my life. It will be the weirdest at Christmas. My grandma's birthday was Christmas Eve.

So, here's to all the wonderful memories of my grandma, Evedith, and my grandpa, Pierce. They were married for 63 years. They had 9 nine children together. 24 grandchildren and 29 great-grandchildren. I think their deaths being so close together is just a testament to how much they relied on each other and loved each other. God bless them and keep them. I will remember them always.

Plans for the Week

This week is going to be another busy one! I've got a meeting tonight with my stampin' downline. I've got the "Mystery Hostess" stampin' party tomorrow night. Wednesday night we are taking Maddy to see Santa and getting her ears pierced, my parents are coming with us and spending the night. Thursday is Thanksgiving. Friday we have to go sign more papers for the house. Saturday is the big family shopping day! Crazy.

I am already tired just thinking about all of this! Not to mention today is a crazy day at work - lots going on.

Oh well, gotta go start cranking out some work.

TGIF

Wow. I am so glad it's Friday - the weekend means more time with Maddy. The end of my fourth week of work here. The time is flying by. Madeline is 8 months old next week. That's just plain crazy. Granted she is crawling all over and standing herself up on anything she can, and she says "Mama," "Dada," and "Hi." She has two teeth now, and two more are coming in. She is amazingly smart and eats like a little piggy. She is doing so well, and I feel so blessed because she is such a wonderful little girl. It's so amazing to me because I never knew you could love someone so much. I mean you hear that all the time from parents, about the unconditional love and it's something you've never felt before. But it is the total truth. Just thinking about her now, I am picturing her in my arms passed out after finishing her bottle and I just feel my whole body tense up because I just want to squeeze her.

I took her over to visit my grandparents for a little bit last night. She gets such a kick out of them - she laughs at everything they do and just makes their hearts melt.

I will tell you though that the person that I am most-awed by is my dad. He just adores Maddy. Everytime he sees her, he's gotta hold her forever and just play with her. She is not allowed to cry at his house - he strictly informed me. He carries out to the car everytime we visit, and then he proceeds to buckle her in and sit in the seat next to her while he tells her goodbye and kisses her and makes sure she's got her pacifier and blanket. It's just too precious. It makes me realize, what I've known all along, what a truly great dad he was to me and what an amazing grandpa he is.

I've been thinking a lot about family lately, and the way the people you're surrounded by growing up really mold and shape the person you become as an adult. You know I grew up in a very weird situation - with incredibly young teenage parents who actually stayed married. My mom was 20 years old when I went to kindergarten. My parents worked so hard to provide for us, and I truly never felt like we were missing out on anything. In retrospect I know that a lot of that was due to the support and spoiling done by my extended family, especially my grandparents. I had that "cool aunt" and the uncle with lots of money to spend on you. I had the grandma that took me everywhere with her and taught me all about shopping and junk food. I had such a wonderful exposure to the other members in my family that I really really want that for Madeline. I know what those times mean to not only Maddy, but to my family as well.

Jerry's family is very different about stuff like that. I don't think they ever really had "cool" people in their family. They were very traditional and I think it had a lot to do with the fact that they were all much older when he was growing up. They didn't spend too much time at the mall, if you know what I mean?

I think all of this is going to help make Madeline such a well-rounded person because she is already exposed to such a variety of people in our families. My mom is that "spoil me rotten" grandma, and my dad is that extra loving giant teddy bear grandpa. Jerry's mom is the grandma that will teach her how to bake things and sew things and all those traditional "grandma" things. Jerry's dad is the grandpa that will teach her silly songs and tell her funny jokes, and always have some special candy in his pocket. My brother will be that "cool" uncle that likes to take her "bumming." Jerry's sister is that aunt lets her come spend the night with Jenna and have crazy pillow fights and make ice cream sundaes. I'm almost in tears now as I think about all of the incredible people that surround not only my daughter, but myself as well.

Why this sappy post?? I think all of this stuff going on with my brother is really making me understand how different people in the same family can really be, and how that is not necessarily a bad thing. My brother is dealing with this situation in a completely different way than I would, but when you listen to him talk about it, it all starts to make sense. The way my brother interacted with my family was so different from me, and the way my parents treated him was so different from me that his perspective of the world is shaped completely different than mine. This scares me a little, because it shows just how powerful your parenting decisions really are, and it shows how significant the way you are raised and treated as a child are in shaping your adulthood.

Unusual Cell Phone Use?

So, I was struggling with what to post about today that wouldn't just be another gripe about PIL and money.... That is until my last trip to the restroom down the hall. So, the bathroom has two enclosed stalls - totally closed off little rooms with their own lights and everything. So, imagine my surprise when I walk in and hear someone talking inside one of the stalls. OK. Yeah. She was talking on her cell phone while going to the bathroom at work!!! How weird is that? It was so odd because she was behind this closed door talking on the cell phone and you know what she was doing while she's carrying on this conversation! Crazy.

Mortgages, stamping and 401(k)

I have entirely way too much shit going on right now! We met Sunday with UD, the realtor, and signed all the paperwork to list our house. Then on Monday we met with mortgage guy for the new house. On Thursday, I have to meet with these other finance people to roll over my 401(k) from my old job. Blah. Too much financial crap in one week for me!

This mortgage stuff is so confusing to me, but Jerry seems to understand it all so well. He has really done a lot of homework. We are going to be doing an 80/20 loan with the new house. I'm starting to know what that means. But can I just tell you that what that stupid bitch did to my credit is still causing me headaches because the credit reporting agencies have 45 days from the time the fraud is reported to clear it from your report. Well, 2 of the 3 companies have taken it off, but until the third one does it shows up. Do you know how much of an impact this would/could have on my new monthly house payment?? With the $8,000 debt on there, my credit score is 674. Without that on there it will be in the 700's. This causes a difference EVERY MONTH of $165 in our payment!!!! She is sooooooooooo damn lucky that we found out about this prior to meeting with the mortgage people and reviewing our credit with them.

When we met the mortgage guy on Monday, we also picked out the colors of everything in the new house. I'm so excited!! We will have hardwood floors throughout the first floor (foyer, kitchen, morning room, dining room, powder room) and upgraded California shag carpet throughout the rest of the house. We picked out a linoleum floor for the upstairs bathrooms, and countertops for the kitchen. We upgraded to maple cabinets, and since we did 9' ceilings throughout, the cabinets make even more of a statement. We will have his and her's walk-in closets in the master, a corner garden tub in the master bath, oh and ya know I could go on and on, but let me just tell you this... this house is amazing, and I really couldn't be happier with our choices. Jerry's dad came to see it on Monday as well. Jer's mom asked him to describe it to her in one word, he said, "extravagent." :)

I have my stamp club meeting tonight. Should be good. I've got some cute new projects planned. Next week I'm having a "mystery hostess" party on Tuesday, and I've invited a lot of people outside of the club - trying to get some new blood and get some other people interested in stamping. It is so much fun, and I think for a lot of people it is relaxing and a nice form of creative therapy. Now, granted, I know most people won't become as obsessed with it as I have, but hopefully I can get some new faces interested in learning more. I'd really love to start another club. Maybe after we move - I'll try to recruit new neighbors and maybe some new co-workers? We'll see.

Anyhow, hope you all have a good day!

Hoo-Ha Butt-Kissing Lunch

I know you know what I'm talking about... I have to go to this lunch today. It's a fundraiser at this fancy restaurant, and includes champagne and a fashion show. Yeah. You get the drift. I have to meet some VIP's and host a few media contacts. Should actually be a really good thing for me, however...

1. I am extremely picky eater and never usually like those fancy foods, but I'll have to pretend to eat because it's formal and fancy and I can't look like a total freak at the table.
2. It's with all these ritzy ladies, and I'm wearing a suit I bought at Target :) No doubt it's a cute suit, but still you know what I mean...
3. I am super annoyed because I don't have my biz cards yet, and this would be a really great time to have them.
4. My boss, whom I haven't really talked to except for lunch on my first day, will also be there and I'm kinda paranoid about that.


Aside from those 4 things, it should be good. Plus, I think I'm just going to head home afterwards. The fashion show isn't scheduled to start until 1:30, and probably won't end until 2:30, and the place is about 25 minutes away. I typically leave at 4 p.m. anyhow, so I'm going to go straight home.

I have to come up with some plans for tomorrow. Jerry is going to be with the guys all day and night - some football hoopla stuff. I can't go shopping because the credit card bill came yesterday and I kinda got in a bit of trouble for all the shopping I've done recently. And, with all this mortgage stuff going on I shouldn't add to the balance really. We'll pay it off, no doubt, but still... So, I'm not sure what I'm going to do all day. I should really clean the house, but what fun is that? ? I thought about going out to my mom's, but I don't know. I know we'll end up shopping and that would be bad. I really want to work on Maddy's scrapbook, but that is damn near impossible when I have to keep my eyes on her every second now... Hmmm.... What to do with this free time?

Blah

Today just sucks. I have the period from hell. Granted, I am relieved to have it because it came a whole week late (thank you stress - new job, new house, PIL disaster), but still I am having cramps so bad it feels like I'm being stabbed with a dull knife continuously. Ugh.

On a happy note - we signed papers for the new house last night and we will be meeting with the mortgage guy on Monday. That's exciting. Now, we just have to sell our house and we'll be all set.

On another blah note - Madeline has a cold. She woke up all stuffy and with a runny nose. Poor thing. I hate leaving her when she's not feeling well... It makes me feel totally guilty.

I have a ton of writing to do here at work, so I really better go. Sorry for this boring post, but like I said, I just feel blah.

MIL Pisses Me Off AGAIN

Last night we went out to dinner for Jerry's cousin's Confirmation. OK, so the reservation seriously was not until 8:45 p.m. Madeline's bedtime is typically 8. Nice. Anyhow, this is a dinner with like 14 family members. So, let me also preface this with the fact that we did not attend the church service because it was too hard/crazy to get there after work for me. So, we get to the restaurant before everyone else gets there from church. I changed Maddy's diaper, and we fed her some food while we waited for them. Now, let me also preface this story with the fact that MIL had Madeline in her care for the entire day yesterday. I, on the otherhand, got my first contact with my daughter at 6 p.m. So, they all get there and we order and everything. I'm holding Madeline while she babbles away and checks everyone out - smiling the whole time. MIL starts talking to Maddy and says "come over here and let me see you." I ignored her. Then, she gets up and tries to take her from me and I kinda let her know that I really didn't want to give her up. She says, "just for a few minutes." I said, "You had her all day." She still took her and starts talking to her, "are you hungry? do you need a diaper?" Aaaaaahhhhh!!!! I was so mad. I sad to her, "I just fed her an entire jar of food and changed her diaper literally seconds before you got here." She says, "oh, ok. Just checking." Just checking? What the hell is that?????? Just checking. Like I am a complete idiot of a mother.... Whatever.

This was all after she got into with Jerry and told him he was an asshole. As soon as we got in the car to go home we both started bitching about her... If only she wasn't providing the best childcare option in the whole wide world for us!!! :)

No, seriously. Please know that I do totally appreciate and love what she does for Madeline, but it just really upsets me when she questions my parenting abilities or insults the care that I provide for my daughter. If you knew this woman, you would know why it is so easily done. She is THE QUEEN of sarcastic digs and doesn't care if she offends me - you know she gave me the best thing I ever got - her baby. She has this weird mentality about things, and don't think this is just me being judgmental - she actually says these crazy things out loud.

At any rate, dinner was not pleasant and it was a really late night for all of us.

Oh yeah, here's another thing I'm sure you mom's out there will appreciate... So dinner wasn't until 9 p.m. So, I took Maddy there in her pajamas, knowing she would eventually pass out. SIL brings Jenna (granted she did go to church) but she was wearing this black and white and velvety dress with matching tights and cute little hat. SIL, BIL and Jenna actually took their "Christmas card" picture at the restaurant. Jerry and I were wearing jeans and sweatshirts and Maddy's in feety pajamas. Nice. But, I should also note this was seriously just a pizza joint, not a fancy restaurant. I'm not a total slob :)

Gyno Dilemma

I am supposed to go for a PAP test this month because it has been 6 months since my 6 week postpartum check-up. I haven't made the appointment yet, because I'm not sure what to do... You see now that I do PR for a hospital, more importantly a women's hospital, I am feeling like for the next baby I should deliver here. However, my doc is not affiliated with this hospital. So, do I switch docs and find one here - thus, making it easier for appointments and such during work hours - or stick with the doc I really like and that delivered my precious Madeline? Any advice would be appreciated.

Funny at Work

So, as you know last week I started working in a hospital. So, I'm learning a whole new culture and everything, right? The doctors or "docs" as I must now refer to them, are an interesting crowd. Some really stuffy, some really laid back, some you just can't tell. But, at any rate, there are TONS of "docs" everywhere around here. And yesterday, as I embarked on my 20 minute hike to the parking garage, I was walking down a hallway and this "doc" was walking towards me picking his nose. And yes, he saw me. And yes, he continued to pick his nose... It was the most bizarre thing I've ever seen. I think that I will eternally grateful that "docs" are incessant about washing their hands.

Wardrobe Situation

So remember way back when I told you that my new job required business formal dress? And that I needed to buy a whole new wardrobe? Well, I did and it was fun and I now own some really great and professional pieces. However, can I just tell you that no matter how cute the jacket is or how perfect the shoes are... dressing up everyday sucks. And you know it's not like I can just throw on any old suit and be good to go. This place is a fashion parade. There is this drastic line of scrubs and biz formal. Biz formal means dressed to the nines, great hair, manicured nails, perfect and trendy heals and all the needed electronic devices. I now have to have a pager and my cell phone with me at all times, and the laptop must come home at night. Thank God I bought that $365 awesome briefcase!

Yes, my briefcase arrived yesterday. It is so awesome. It is made by Rawlings, yeah those people that make baseball gloves. It is made out of the same leather and is stitched just like a mitt. Totally cool. THanks to the hubby for letting me get it - it was my "Sweetest Day" presant :)

Some Stuff About Me

1. Number one priority in life is my baby girl, Madeline.
2. Number two priority is my marriage to high school sweetheart, Jerry.
3. The rest of my family is incredibly important to me, and we are very close.
4. I have one brother, who is about to turn 25.
5. My parents are both VERY young - my mom is 41 and my dad is 45.
6. I work in a hospital.
7. I am absolutely hands-down addicted to rubber stamping.
8. I've started a new obsessions recently - scrapbooking.
9. My parents come to visit Maddy every Wednesday night.
10. We're most likely moving in the next year - building a new house.
11. We built our first house, just three years ago.
12. My husband had an affair with my soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law, while I was pregnant.
13. My soon-to-be-ex sister-in-law committed numerous felonies using my name.
14. I love celebrity gossip news and read the trash everyday.
15. I want to get pregnant again next year.
16. I drive a 2004 black Mazda 6 to work, but when I have the baby I take the 2005 black Explorer.
17. I am extremely organized at work, but my house is an absolute mess.
18. I have a shopping addiction, and spend way too much money on clothes.
19. I dress my daughter a little like me... she wears khakis and jeans a lot, even though she's only 7 months old.
20. I go by "Amanda" at work, but "Mandy" everywhere else.
21. I love Mountain Dew.
22. I eat absolutely NO fruits or vegetables EVER.
23. I don't eat any condiments either (not ketchup, salad dressing, nothing).
24. I'm not very nice to my husband when I don't get my way.
25. I have major issues with my mother-in-law.
26. Jerry and I went through some major crap in high school, that resulted in Jerry being suspended from school and they took us out of the classes we had together... very long story.
27. #26 changed our relationship forever, made Jerry get some counseling and is the reason I am still married to him
28. I still need to lose like 20 pounds
29. I hate cleaning, and never do it.
30. My mom cleans my house a lot, and when she doesn't, I pay my aunt to come and do it.
31. I could spend thousands of dollars and more time I could ever have in a craft store.
32. I had to get rid of my dog a little more than a week ago, and I am very very sad about it.
33. I let my daughter cry sometimes.
34. There are usually dishes in my sink, unless I'm expecting company.
35. We have a hot tub, that gets used almost every night.
36. I let my laundry pile up until the door to the closet where the hamper is can't close anymore or I run out of underwear.
37. I have about a hundred pairs of underwear.
38. I really really loved being pregnant.
39. I cried when I packed up my maternity clothes.
40. I have a master's degree.
41. I have changed jobs a lot.
42. The longest I've worked somewhere is 2 1/2 years.
43. I'm 26 years old.
44. I've never even tried to smoke a cigarette.
45. I've never done any kind of illegal drugs - EVER.
46. I dated a drug dealer though :)
47. I can count the number of guys I've slept with on one hand.
48. My husband was my first, but not only.
49. I've never cheated on my husband.
50. I am a fanatical planner.
51. I finished my B.A. in three years. I was 20 when I graduated.
52. I went to Ohio Northern University.
53. I got my Master's three semesters later from The University of Akron.
54. I got married 6 months later.
55. I used ovulation kits to plan the conception of my daughter.
56. It worked the first time.
57. My daughter was conceived on the 4th of July.
58. My daugther was born on Good Friday.
59. I have pictures of my daughter plastering my new office.
60. I love to read, but never have time to do it.
61. I'm a democrat.
62. I've played softball nearly my entire life.
63. I played volleyball in high school.
64. I'm only 5' 1" tall.
65. I never got to play in the front row :)
66. I was in a major bad car accident about 12 years ago.
67. I broke my femur as a result, and have a metal rod and a few screws in there now.
68. I sometimes think about divorcing my husband.
69. But I don't want to, and know that I won't.
70. I really think about it at night when he's snoring the night away :)
71. My house is painted with really bright colors - yellow, orange, turquoise, lime green.
72. I wish we had money to invest in really great art for the walls.
73. I think my husband has more shoes than I do!
74. My brother and I are complete opposites, but we have a few things in common.
75. I'm a really creative person.
76. I look like my mom, but I'm built like my dad.
78. My daughter looks exactly like my husband.
79. My brother and I look like we should be boy/girl twins - same face, same smile.
80. We are 17 months apart.
81. I have 3 grandparents still living plus one great-grandma still living.
82. My mom's parents are only 61 years old.
83. I have a cousin that is only 4 years old.
84. My mom's sister is married to my dad's brother.
85. My dad has 6 brothers and one sister.
86. My mom has two brothers and one sister.
87. I never wanted a sister.
88. I am the total princess of my family.
89. I started this blog to write about my daughter, never dreaming of the drama that would take hold of my life these last few months.
90. I don't cook, at all really, but if I had time to learn, I would do it more.
91. My mom never cooked at all, so I'm completely clueless in the kitchen.
92. My mother-in-law is the best cook I know.
93. My husband teaches 5th grade, and loves it.
94. I don't have enough patience to be a teacher.
95. I love to write, and really enjoy my work.
96. I am the breadwinner in my family.
97. I love learning and strive to constantly be bettering myself.
98. I am extremely goal-oriented.
99. I was in a sorority in college - Alpha Xi Delta.
100. I value family and friends more than words could ever express.

Crazy Busy

I am crazy busy at work and at home. Things have just been so hectic. We had Maddy's first Halloween - she was absolutely adorable and loved seeing all the kids. I'll post pictures later. I have kind-of a crisis project to work on for the next day or two here at work. My brother is an idiot... we've all come to the conclusion that PIL needs psychiatric help, but I think he thinks that it will make everything ok if she gets that help, and he is terribly mistaken. I am doing my damdest to kick him in the ass and get him to take all the needed steps to get away from her, but I think he needs to see a shrink too for believing her lies for so long and still being sucked into her BS. Too much to get into here, but just know that this drama is far from over and it is driving me crazy.