Can you ever really have it all?

So, a while ago my mom bought me this T-shirt that says, "This Mom has it all." And when she gave it to me, she said, I'm always in such awe of all the things you juggle and how you manage all the different parts of your life so well. And, I laughed out loud.

I guess I've spent my whole life believing that I could have it all - a great career, a family, good friends, etc. But now that a lot of those things are reality, I think my belief is that you can have a "little bit" of it all, but you can never really fully embarass it all at the same time.

What I mean is that I truly love my job and what I do, and I'm on a great career path here, but when I stop and think about what I give up to have that... time with my girls, constantly checking my blackberry even when I'm spending time with my girls, time to talk and catch up with my friends and enjoying more time on hobbies... I realize that when things are going really great at work, and I'm flying high, it usually means that I've been so wrapped up in work that I haven't been home with the girls as much or that I haven't spent any time with my husband. A couple of weeks ago, I was in the hot tub with Jer, and he said we can talk about whatever you want, but I DON'T want to hear anything about work. I stopped and had nothing really to talk about... And, when I'm really focused on things happening with my family (like last week when Emma had her 4 month well visit and we took Maddy to Kalahari), I missed time at work and was freaking out about messages I was getting and who would need me when I wasn't here...

So, I guess when I heard my mom say that I juggle it all so well, I realized that she has no idea how hard it really is for me and that I feel like I'm failing at the balancing act miserably!

I think things are on track with everything today, and I feel very blessed to have all the things and people I have in my life. I just wonder if these constant internal battle will ever end?

There is a constant guilty conscience-type feeling that I think all working moms have, and I'd love to know how other moms handle it, especially those with jobs that require a lot of off-hour work/access??