Baby Doll

She is just so adorable. I can't tell you all how much fun she is right now. We were just cracking up laughing at her last night. She was making all these silly faces and sounds and playing with her toys. So sweet. Oh my. It's so hard to believe she's nearly a year old already!

Friday couldn't get here fast enough

My what a week it has been. I've been on some weird emotional/hormonal roller coaster, and I am attributing it to PMS the week before my period is due. That's the only explanation I can come up with for the random tears, the instant changes from happy to full raging bitch, and the never-ending "tired" feeling. Bagh.

At any rate, it's Friday! And, I am happy to report that we have a couple coming to check out the house tonight! Woo-hoo!!!! We're having an open house on Sunday, as well, and we are really hoping to get some interest.

New house update: the lumber has arrived. They may've started framing yesterday or today.

Oh yeah, I have recruited my grandparents to watch for a little while tonight while I attempt to get some scrapbooking done. My goal is to be totally caught up in time for Maddy's first birthday, so I have a lot of work to do! The thought of actually executing the creative ideas I've been storing in my brain is what will get me through this day.

I don't want to be at work today. I am so tired and I am just not motivated. Thank God I don't have any crews coming today - I don't think I could effectively turn on the happy PR smile if my life depended on it. I will tell you that I had a great meeting with my boss yesterday, and they may even be hiring me some help! Wouldn't that be great? I'm not holding my breath though.

OH, so here's a great Maddy update: Last night Jer's school had a fundraiser at Chuck E. Cheese. So, we took the baby and went for a little while. She absolutely loved it. You know those robot-looking animal things that sing on stage? She thought they were the coolest thing EVER. And, she is all about dancing now, so the whole time she was bouncing all around and jumping up and down. It was adorable. She waved hi and bye to everyone she saw, and she laughed hysterically at all the kids. I sat her on a couple of rides and she went down this little slide. She was in her glory. Her dad played some games and won tickets. He turned them in for this little light-up ball for her. What a night for a 10-month old, hah?

Oh well, I'm off to attempt to do some work. Maybe some coffee will help.... Have a good weekend y'all.

What's new with me...

Kalahari was really fun. My family had a blast. Madeline really didn't know what to think about all the excitement and having everyone all together. She was really excited and happy most of the time. She liked being in the water with us, and floated around with us on tubes. She actually fell asleep on Jerry in one of those tubes! She was too precious in her little bikinis!

Saturday night, after we got back from the waterpark, we had dinner for my brother-in-law's birthday at Outback, and then we came home and had another couple over for drinks and hot-tubbing. (Maddy spent the night with my parents.) I had way. too. much. to. drink. We were up until like 2 a.m.! Lots of fun though. Then, on Sunday, Jer's family came over to watch the football games and have chili, hot dogs and pizza. It was a totally action-packed weekend and came into work on Monday utterly exhausted.

Had a crappy day on Monday. I was really tired and crabby, and I got upset about some things at work and actually cried a little. Yuck. Yesterday was a little better, but I was still pretty crabby and annoyed.

I got a Blackberry, and it's all hooked up and working. I'm not so sure I like being this "available" for work. Bah. It's addicting to be able to check your email at any given moment, and the damn thing alerts me every time I get a message. I'm still learning how to use it, and on my ride home yesterday I damn near threw the thing out the window because I did something that made the email icon disappear and I couldn't get it back. But, I'll get the hang of it.

The new house has a basement with windows. The lumber package was delivered yesterday, and they should start framing today. We are going to stop by and check it out tonight. We're having an open house on Sunday, in hopes of at least getting someone to come and look at the old house! I can't tell you how much I've been praying that we sell this house before the new one is ready! Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh. Stress.

Oh well, I've gotta run. I have a ton of shit to do, which of course means my phone will start ringing any second now and won't stop until I'm walking out the door tonight. Better get crackin'.

Have a good day.

Kalahari

So, tomorrow I will be out of the office and on a little overnight vacation at Kalahari indoor water park in Sandusky (http://www.kalahariresort.com/OH/Main.aspx).

My entire family is going (grandparents, parents, brother, aunts, uncles, cousins). My grandparents are paying for the whole thing as our Christmas gift. They even gave us gas cards to pay for the fuel to get there! Crazy.

Anyhow, I think it is going to be really fun. We have a suite for the night tomorrow, and everyone is packing coolers full of fun beverages and I think we will have a blast. Madeline absolutely loves the water, so I think she is really going to enjoy it.

Because of this excitement, today is DRAGGING ON FOREVER. Two more hours to go... Blah.

Just the littlest things...

So as you know, I spend a lot of posting space bitching about my husband and all the stupid shit he does or doesn't do, but I really need to share something really nice that he did yesterday...

He had MLK day off, I didn't. He was home all day with the baby, and he went grocery shopping. That was great in itself, but the sweetest part is that when I got home, he had to show me all the things that he bought especially for me and he even bought me flowers. He bought me things he thought would be good to take to work for lunch, and he bought my favorite kind of cereal and he bought a few special snacks for Madeline. I was really impressed that he took so much time and put so much thought into shopping, especially since he had Maddy with him.

When I got home yesterday, Madeline was in a great mood and so was he. He said, "We had a really nice day together." And the best part, they did NOT go over his mother's!

I was really impressed. We went to Chipotle for dinner (that's his favorite place in the whole world), and then we had a nice night playing with Maddy and snuggling.

You know, it wasn't anything fancy, but it was honestly one of the best days/nights I've spent with my husband in a long time.

Just a few things

We had a really productive weekend - got a lot of cleaning done around the house, gearing up for some open houses after the Super Bowl. My parents spent the night on Saturday, and my dad watched Maddy and my mom REALLY helped us clean and do laundry. It was so great!

We had my work "post-holiday" party yesterday. It was really nice. My boss's husband owns a wine distributing company, and we went there for a wine tasting and dinner. The building is amazing and dinner was so nice. I can't even begin to describe what a pleasant atmosphere it was, and I will tell you that the best part about the evening was the way Jerry behaved and treated me. He was so sweet, and I caught him a few times saying some really nice things about me. I left there really knowing how proud he is of me and especially of Maddy. It just really was such a nice night, and I can't tell you how much we needed that - time out without the baby.

On a serious note, my brother lost his job last week. I don't really know too much of the details, but if you've been reading my blog for a while, you'll know that this is not good. He's been so depressed about the whole marriage fiasco, that this was not what he needed at all, but he's handled it surprisingly well. I helped him update his resume and send it out. He's going on a second interview today with a company that he really likes and would love to work for, and he's really approaching the whole thing as a way to make a completely fresh start. Keep him in your prayers, because truly, we are all very worried about his well-being and hope that he really is "making a fresh start." I'll keep you posted on his progress. FYI - in case I didn't mention it before, the dissolution papers have officially been filed and they will eventually have to go to court and get it all finalized, but for now, they are legally separated.

Madeline is feeling soooo much better. She's pretty much back to her old self. She had a good weekend, and played so hard. She is really into her toys, and will entertain herself for long periods of time. Her new thing is "dancin' dancin'" whenever she hears music. It's so adorable. My dad had such a good time with her yesterday - I think he took every toy out of her toy box and played with her. He got her dressed and took a nap with her. It was so cute.

I had a really stressful mommy moment on Saturday afternoon. You see, I have been dying to go to this really awesome scrapbooking/stamping store, and Jerry and I were all set to go out shopping and to lunch, but when Jer was snowblowing the driveway he hit some wire for the sensor on our garage door and it wouldn't close. So, he decided to stay home and fix it, while I took the baby with me by myself. Well, let me just tell you that this store is not a baby-friendly store at all, and I had Madeline in the stroller and she could grab way too many things too easily. Then, she got mad and wanted me to hold her, so I'm holding her and pushing the stroller around the store (which is not designed for said stroller pushing), and so I put all of the stuff I wanted to buy into the stroller. When, she wasn't really happy still. Then it dawned on me that she was probably hungry, so I took all the stuff back out of the stroller and put her in it again and gave her some of those wonderful Gerber fruit puff things. She was fine the rest of the time, but I will tell you that I was sweating in that store and I was so aggravated. Next time, no Maddy when mommy goes to Archivers. I spent way too much $$, because I really was so distracted that I wasn't paying much attention to what I was piling onto the stroller. Oh well. Such is life I guess.

So Sleepy...

I am so sleepy today. I had one of those rides into work this morning where I was truly afraid of dozing off. Jerry and I take turns every other night for who's "on duty" if Maddy wakes up. Well, last night was my night, and she woke up at 12:30 and at 4:30. At 4:30, she wanted no part of going back to sleep, so I brought her in our bed but with no luck still. I woke myself up enough to give her a breathing treatment and a bottle, and she finally fell asleep, but I only had like 20 minutes until my alarm was set to go off. Ugh. I think I'm going to go down to the cafeteria and gets some coffee or something to try to wake me up.

Will it ever end?

So, the sickness cycle continues... I missed work on Friday, because Madeline is really sick. I spent 3 hours with the pediatrician and then another 2 hours at the children's hospital. She has "bronchilitis," but they tested her for RSV and pneumonia. She had to have chest x-rays, they tested her oxygen levels, gave her a breathing treatment, tested her again. Ugh. It was terrible. She had a fever of 103.8! I was so scared. Now, she gets these breathing treatments every four hours, and she's doing SO MUCH BETTER.

On top of the scariness of that on Friday, while at the hospital with Maddy I noticed this funny little rash all over me... Hmmm.... Oh yeah, I am totally allergic to the antibiotics they put me on last week. By Saturday night, I was a flaming red, itchy mess. They called me in a new antibiotic yesterday. Nice.

Jerry went to the dr. again yesterday to get a cortizone shot because he's having a gout flare up.

I tell you, 2006 is not starting off so well.... This sickness streak has got to end! Ugh.

New Work Expectations

I'm posting this because it has been on my mind a lot lately, and I'd love some feedback from others...

My new job requires me to be pretty much accessible/available at any given moment - most of the time just by phone, but it still means that I carry a pager and a cell phone and that I also rotate another "on-call" pager every 3-4 weeks. Pretty soon I'll be getting a Blackberry to be available by email as well...

OK, so you all know I'm a working mom. Well, I have to tell you that I really really love my job. Really, I do. The experience is great, and I honestly don't mind taking the calls at home and all that...

However, what I'm wondering is how long I'm going to be able to survive this way. I used to go home and mentally "turn off" the career mind and "turn on" the mommy brain. Well, now the work brain never stops. And it isn't that I'm not paying attention to Maddy, I am. The mommy brain still comes on, but I'll tell you what's flying out the window... the wife brain. I don't have time to do things around the house, and it's showing. Jerry is getting really annoyed by all the calls and the constant way I talk about work. I know he supports my career, and he would never say anything to me, but I can see it in his face. I forget stupid little things at home A LOT, and in my head I know I'm trying to do too much... the job, the baby, Jerry, stamping, spending time with the rest of our family, trying to clean/maintain our house and laundry and all that stuff. I feel myself getting spread too thin. The problem is, I don't know if or what I could possibly give up... I love every part of my life, and I know I need to make some adjustments, but I'm having a really hard time with it all.

When I have a free moment, I want to stamp, scrapbook and read. I never do though. I ended up going to bed because I'm exhausted. Jerry and I haven't really done anything alone in quite a while...

I think instead of trying to give up something, I am going to try to find a way to take some of the burden off of me. I think I am going to hire my cousin (she's 17 and very responsible) to baby-sit for me on a regular basis, so I get some me-time and can re-charge my batteries. Maybe something like every other week on Saturday afternoon or something... Hmmm... I am really liking this plan. You see, I know that when we move into our new house, we're hiring a cleaning lady, so that won't really be a problem anymore. But I'm becoming resentful that I don't have time for myself to do the things I really enjoy, and thus I'm not really focused on Jerry when we're at home together. I think if I'm a happier woman, I'll be a better wife. Does that make sense or am I just trying to rationalize all of this in my head? I'm going to make a proposal to Jerry about the whole baby-sitter thing... I think he'll be up for it.

What do you all think? How do you keep your sanity??

Missing my Maddy

I am missing my baby this morning. She's so sweet and lovable and I just want to see her smiling face and her babble "mamamamamom" a little bit. I could cry just thinking about the fact that I have to wait like another 8 hours to see her.

She is at the sweetest stage right now - she gives hugs and kisses and just loves to play. My parents came over to visit last night, and you should have heard her belly laughing. It was so cute. She has learned how to do the whole "so big" thing where she lifts up her arms. Well, now that she knows she gets a reaction when she does that, she will do it every time you ask her a question or something that she doesn't know. So, I'll ask her, "Maddy, how was your day today?" So big. "How are you feeling this morning?" So big. "Maddy, do you want to take a bath?" So big. It's so silly, and she just lights up every time with this huge smile. "Maddy, how big is daddy?" So big. :)

She's learning how to blow kisses now. She hasn't quite mastered this yet, but it's getting there.

I am going to have to call her today. When she hears my voice on the phone, she smiles and kisses the phone. On occasion, she'll say "mamama." Most of the time, she's too excited and just smiles though.

Oh well, gotta run. Just had to share my mommy thoughts this morning.

Trying to Recover

I seriously could write a book this morning, I have so many things I could post about. But, here are just the snip-its:

• Maddy's 1st Christmas was amazing. She was too cute for words and is really enjoying all of her new toys.
• The entire week after Christmas, Jerry, Maddy and myself endured seven days worth of torture in the form of snot, coughing, eye infections, strep throat, multiple doctor visits and a giant stash of antibiotics.
• I saw the movie, Memoirs of a Geisha, while enduring a round of orange diarrhea from the mega-dose of antibiotics I am now taking.
• Spent New Year's Eve at home with Maddy, by myself. We were both asleep at midnight. Jerry was out partying it up.
• Yes, we had a HUGE fight because of that. Still not really sure it's over...
• Jerry is now 27 - Happy Birthday to him on New Year's Day. I didn't even give him a card or anything, as a result of said fight.
• I am now feeling a little guilty, but still really mad, about said fight.
• Madeline has her 9 month check-up today at 9:30. This will be her 4th doctor visit in one week!
• I was supposed to be off today to go with her for the shots, poor baby, but I had to miss 3 days last week due to the horrible illness we were all experiencing, so I'm back in the office today.
• While I was out sick, a woman was attacked and raped on the hospital campus, along the walkway from the parking garage to the hospital - where I walk everyday!!
• They caught the guy.
• My brother has officially filed the dissolution papers - almost 3 months to the day of the dreaded MBNA phone call.
• They are breaking ground on our new house this week.
• Aaaaah! We have a little more than 90 days to sell our house before we will be paying 2 mortgages!
• Praying really hard we sell our house soon.
• Have a ton of work to catch up on.

Hope you are all off to a great 2006!

Merry Christmas

Today is my last day of work until Tuesday, so I wanted to make to wish you all a Merry Christmas. We have a heavy schedule of activity kicking off tomorrow and running through Monday. I'm actually kind-of annoyed that we have to run around so much, but I know it will all be worth it in the end... My presants are wrapped, my cookies are baked and I'm all set for Maddy's first Christmas, I think. I'm really ready to be done at work too. I doubt that I get very much accomplished today. Nobody's really here either, which makes it even harder. I might try to sneak out a little early. But seriously, is it really sneaking if there is nobody here to catch you? Hmmm...

I'm really annoyed today though because I forgot my cell phone at home. It's only 8:30 and it is driving me insane. I used to never really care too much about having a cell phone, let alone using one, but ever since I've started this new job, my phone has become like another right hand. I asked for that BlueTooth thing for Christmas, because I spend much of my hour-long commute home on the phone.

OK. I just got off the phone with my boss, and I've gotta run. It is going to be a CRAZY day. Big news stories to get out.

At any rate, Happy Holidays to all of you and your families!

Memoirs of a Geisha

Books are dangerous for me. Once I start reading one I just can't stop until I'm finished. This used to not be such a big deal - Jerry would get a little annoyed with me, but that was ok. Now, with Maddy, it drives me nuts because I just don't have the time to read as much as I'd like (hell, I don't have time to a lot of things I'd like to), but this all brings me to the events of the last few nights...

Last week while Jer and I were at the mall, I bought Memoirs of a Geisha. I started reading it over the weekend. Now, I have to preface this with the fact that I am a very fast reader, and used to read an entire book in just one night. Well, I started reading this one on Saturday, and I just finished it last night. I was determined to finish this book. I loved it all, and poured over the beautiful descriptions of the kimonos and the amazing sisterhood of the geishas. It was truly a great book, and I really cannot wait to see the movie. But anyhow, back to being a mommy and trying to read... You see, I was obsessed with this book, so I would tell Jerry to watch Maddy because I had to go to the bathroom, and I would sneak the book in there just to read a few chapters. Then, I would read while I was feeding Maddy a bottle or folding the laundry or while the baby was sitting the pack-n-play. Every second I could sneak in some reading, I did. And, I finished the book. However, I have to ask... is this crazy? I stayed up late every night reading for a couple of hours after Madeline went to sleep, to the point where Jer was ready to sleep and I still had the lights on... this is highly unusual, as I usually get mad that he's still up watching TV when I'm ready to sleep.

You know, my thought on it is this... Reading is something I do for me, and I haven't had time to read a book since Madeline was born. I don't think cramming in one book from time to time is so bad?

TIME OUT FROM BOOK POST: My husband just called me... I have to vent. You see he is home from now until after New Year's, so he has Maddy with him. Now, I told him a few days ago that I really needed to do Maddy's laundry or she wouldn't have clothes for him to put on her... Well, I haven't had time to get to it because I was busy doing the piles and piles of laundry of ours that we had been hoarding all over the house. (Plus, you know I was busy with the book). So, there really isn't much in Maddy's closet right now that will fit her... so, he called to bitch to me and ask where clothes were that he could put on her... And then he proceeds to ask why there are all these clothes still in the closet and her drawers that are too small.... Now, I told him weeks ago that was a project I really needed to tackle; however, with the holidays I was just too busy and that I would work on after the craziness subsided. He goes on to tell me how easy it was to do and how he couldn't believe she had all these clothes, blah, blah, blah... I am so fuming mad at him right now. Who the hell does he think he is???? He has never in Madeline's 9 months of life done a load of her laundry or put it away or packed her bag of clothes for the week or kept up with the constant need for new clothes in bigger sizes... Now, he's complaining about her closet. Oh my gosh. I am going to kill him. So, I told him that her laundry really needed to be done... His response, "I'll keep looking and find something to put her in until you get home." Asshole.

Yes, for those of you that think I'm insane about mentioning the other day about having another one.... Yes, I am. I need to kick Jer's ass into gear if that's even going to be discussed any time soon! Ugh.

OH, and here's another good one for ya... He's off for like 2 weeks, right? Do you think he would get up with her last night when she woke up at 2 a.m.?? OH no. Mommy was up for like 45 minutes with her, while he snored away. Do you think he helped me put her to bed when she was screaming bloody murder because she's teething so bad, even when I yelled down and asked him to come help me? OH no. He was snoring on the couch, curled up with a blanket while I gave her a bath, fed her, changed her, and spent an hour trying to get her to sleep. OH, and for the record, I actually cooked a meal for dinner last night too while his ass sat on the couch!!!!!! Bah. The dishes will still be in the sink when I get home, I'm sure.

Santa

I cannot believe Christmas is this weekend! Madeline will be 9 months old on Christmas day. Wow. Where does the time go?

At any rate, this year is the first time I have to play the role of Santa. I know Maddy is too young to really understand any of this stuff, but I still feel like I need to start off on the right foot and I know in my heart that she will at least understand that Christmas is a really special time in our family. So, I bought her entirely too much stuff - toys and clothes and books, oh my! I cannot wait to put it all and set stuff up for her to see on Christmas morning, but here's the catch... I really want my husband to put together this ride-on thing we bought her and have it sitting out and make it all look really magical for her, but I know my husband is going to think I'm a wack-job since Maddy will really have no clue what's going on...

I would love your feedback on what you've done for your child's first Christmas or what you think about the whole thing...

Proud Mama Wants Another One

I have to update you all on some things my precious Maddy is doing these days:
Claps her hands
Opens her mouth and "gives kisses"
Says: Mama, Dada, Hi
Waves her entire arm whenever she hears the word "bye"
Frantically "flaps" her arms up and down when she's excited about something
Crawls like she's in a speed race
Stands up on everything
Can drink out of a straw, and absolutely loves doing it
Wants to eat "real" food and throws a hissie if you don't have something you can share
Is teething fiercely - her top incisors are coming in now
She tries to whisper - this is my personal favorite and is soooo cute!

I am telling you that girl is the absolute greatest little thing on the face of the planet!! My parents kept her overnight on Saturday, so that Jer and I could go to his friend's Christmas party. And we both really missed her. At the party, Jer was so cute showing everyone pictures of her and talking about her. On our entire drive out to my mom's to pick her up, we couldn't stop gushing to each other about our little princess. As soon as she heard us come in, those arms started flapping and she raced on her hands and knees to come and get us. Soooo cute.

She's such a wonderful baby, and I am totally getting the itch to have another one. Oh my. It's the same feeling I had when I knew I wanted to have her... Jerry is trying to fend me off with a stick, no more or less he keeps reminding me of the realities that make another one not such a good idea for at least a few more months. We'll probably start trying again later this summer. That way they will be about 2 years apart. I really want a boy, but Jer would prefer another girl. Weird, hah?

Anyhow, I will have to post another time about the party we went to on Saturday. THat was absolutely the craziest party I've been to as an adult out of college. I'm not even kidding - people got naked and all these chicks were flashing everyone. It was insane. The worst part, the majority of the guests were teachers!

Yesterday was a really great day. Jerry was in a really great mood, and it totally showed. We had a nice morning together before picking up the baby, and we ended up staying at my mom's all day and baking cookies. It's hard to explain why that was so great, but really it was just nice to have Jer make me feel so good about everything without even trying. Plus, last week he sent a really nice email to my mom thanking her for watching Maddy for us a lot, and asking her to help him shop for me... Too cute. This weekend was so nice, and I am truly blessed to have such a beautiful daughter and great husband, now I just want to add to our little family :)

Hubby's Misconceptions

I am utterly exhausted today, and my back is killing me. The stress of being a working mom is really taking a toll on me with everything we need to get done to the house and for Christmas. Ugh. Last night, I got home from work and cleaned the upstairs of the house, made blueberry muffins for my whining husband who has been asking me to make them for weeks, gave Maddy a bath, played with her for a while, and spent 45 minutes getting her to bed. Oh, and in the middle of that, took out all the trash, had a stamping customer stop by to pick up her order, and went through all the mail from the past few days to see what things needed to be handled.

Now, do you know what my husband did last night? He hung out at his mom's house after work, so that he could time getting home at the same time as me (thus, not having to watch Maddy by himself). I get home and she's in the Pack n' Play, and he's on the couch watching TV. He leaves her with me and runs out to pick up some Quizno's for dinner. Comes back and takes a nap with Maddy while I clean - they are both snoring away in the recliner while I make the damn muffins. He watches TV while I give her a bath and then heads out to the hot tub while I put her to bed.

Now, I realize there are a few good things about what he did last night - he handled dinner and he kept her occupied while I cleaned upstairs; however, I have to remind you all that my day starts when I leave the house at 6 a.m. and I get home from work at 5:30 p.m. I make about 35% more $ than my husband. I have an hour commute each way. Our arrangement is that he is supposed to make dinner and do the dishes every night, and I honestly couldn't tell you the last time he cooked a meal. Dishes will sit for a long time before he does them, but the last few times I've ended up doing those too on the weekend.

Every time I've gone Christmas shopping, I've had Madeline with me. Every time I have a stamping function, I have Madeline with me. Jerry doesn't change diapers at home like ever.

You know what he tells me all the time, and this is exactly what he said when I asked him if he would put her to bed last night, "No way - I have her every morning."

Every morning, he does have to get her out the door. But, I leave at 6, and he leaves at 7:15. He takes her to his mom's in pajamas, because at the beginning of each week, after I do all of her laundry, I pack a bag of clothes for her and send it over there. So, really he has one hour to entertain her and put her in the snowsuit and snap her into the car seat. Yet, when I get home she's basically attached to me until she goes to bed 4 hours later.

Blah. I know I'm being petty. And I know Jerry thinks he's doing a lot, but I have to tell you that I am in desperate need of some alone time. I just want some time to do something without the baby and without Jerry asking every 2 seconds if I'm done yet or when I'm going to be home. Bah.

He doesn't get it. I am really feeling stressed out.

Happy Monday Morning!

Good morning everyone. How was your weekend? Mine was action-packed as always. Friday night we had Jer's work Christmas party. It was at another teacher's house, and oh my gosh was this house amazing! Her husband is in medical sales, and you could definitely tell he'd makes some big bucks, but I will also tell you that our new house doesn't pale in comparison... I think we may one day be having this party at our house! Saturday morning we had family pictures taken with Jerry's sister and their baby and a few of his cousins. Crazy. The pictures are great though, and we took our first official family portrait of the three of us. I just love it so much. Maybe I'll post it soon. Then, after pictures, Maddy and I went shopping with my dad all day for my mom's gifts while Jerry helped his sister move. Maddy and I spent the night at my mom's, and then yesterday morning dad and I got up and ran out to one more store to finish up, and then I had to drive my brother to go pick up his car, and then we finally got home around 2 p.m. Only to turn around a couple hours later to go to Jerry's parents for dinner. We got home at 8 p.m. last night. I gave Maddy a bath, put her to bed, and went right to bed myself!! Insanity. I am so tired this morning. Wow.

While out shopping over the last week, I've begun to notice that my daughter is an incredibly well-behaved child. Since Thanksgiving, Madeline has accompanied me on three all-day shopping marathons - in and out of the car, eating in the food courts, the whole deal, and she has just been excellent. She loves to see all the people and look at the decorations in the mall, and she generally just likes all the action going on around her. Occasionally she'll get fussy, but it's usually because she needs her diaper changed or needs to eat a bottle. Moms have it rough this time of year, and after these marathon days, I am becoming much more grateful that I have a "good baby." It is so hard to maneuver the stroller in the stores, and trying to focus on shopping while remembering to feed and change the baby, while entertaining her and trying to pay for things and packing the stroller totally filled with gifts. It is just amazing, and it is such a different endeavor than when you don't have children, and you just have to think about the shopping task at hand. But you know, even though it is a ton of work and she makes shopping a truly exhausting experience, I wouldn't change one thing. I am so happy to have her with me when I'm out and about and she babbles and smiles at everyone. She totally deserves the way too many presents her mommy has bought her!! :)

Have a great day!

The illness from hell

Today is the first day I've been to work this week. You see over the weekend I came down with the illness from hell, otherwise known as strep throat. Saturday morning my throat was a little scratchy. Saturday afternoon I was achy and tired. Saturday night I sat in the hot tub hoping my aching neck and back would feel better. Sunday, my throat felt like someone had installed spike strips for my saliva to pass through - seriously it hurt so bad to swallow, I couldn't bare it and spit in the sink a lot. Sunday night I woke up sweating from a fever. Now, remember that I now work in a hospital. So, coming to work was not an option, and I knew I really needed to go the doctor. So I did, and I now I'm taking penicillin for 10 days. Was still contageous and still felt like crap yesterday. Today, I feel a little bit better. My throat has, for the most part, retracted the spike strips and is allowing me to swallow with minimal irritation. Now, I just have to get back into the swing of work... Bah.

The last time I had strep throat, I was in college. It was right after I moved into the dorm my sophomore year. I ended up missing my first three days of class that year because I had to wait for the dr. to show up on campus to give me drugs. I was so sick. I remember just laying on the floor and crying. I also threw up a few times then. Thank God that didn't happen this time around - I did feel nauseous off and on, and this lovely penicillin has turned all of my bodily waste a nice bright orange color though. Anyhow, I remember this because it was the first year that I lived with my now very best friend. What a great impression I made as a roommate - totally sick and puking the first days. Plus, being sick made me get really homesick and then I missed Jer a whole bunch and was having this total breakdown and debating about transferring schools. I was a mess. Once I got through the illness from hell, I realized I didn't want to transfer schools and that to help me get through it all I would just graduate a whole year early.

You see, I get sick when I get really stressed out or have some big decisions going on. Hmmm.... Now if you've been reading this blog for any amount of time you can understand why the illness from hell was bound to strike again.

The truly great news is that the dr. told me that children under the age of 2 very very rarely get strep throat - so Madeline should be safe. I was really freaking out about that. Jerry, on the other hand, is not so safe, and I truly expect him to come down with it very soon.

Well, I probably won't post again until Friday. Gotta get caught up today, and yeah, as bad as this sounds, I'm out of the office again tomorrow. I took this vacation day a long time ago, because I have a follow-up appt. with my ob/gyn and then will be hooking up with my mom, my cousin and my aunt to go shopping. (They all took tomorrow off too). Should be fun. I need a little pick me up and some "me" time. Madeline will still be going to MIL's house. I've had her with me while I was home sick, and she's been great. She's so much fun, but the break sounds really nice.

Scrapbooking & Stamping

It's been quite the busy week. Work is crazy - 10 hour days, coming in at 6:30 a.m.! Insane. We took Madeline to see Santa on Wednesday - that was the funnest part of the week. Tonight, I have MAJOR stamping to do. My club's Christmas meeting is tomorrow, and I have a lot of things to get ready for it. Of course I haven't started at all. My mom is coming over tonight to stamp as well, and help me get ready for tomorrow.

I am finding it harder and harder to really focus on stamping because I want to spend all of my available crafting time SCRAPBOOKING. I never thought that I would really get into scrapbooking. Stamping was such a passion, but then I started Maddy's scrapbook and it has become a new obsession. I have so many pictures and page ideas, and not enough time to do it! I might have to become one of those women that I used to think were crazy, staying up until all hours of the night working on pages. I really want to scrap her Halloween pictures, and some really great pictures of her and Jerry. I also want to go back and do some more pages of her earlier pictures. I think after the holidays, I am going to have to ask Jerry to let me have some real time to devote to it.

Ugh. So much to do. I need to put up my Christmas tree too. Maybe Sunday. I am only putting up one this year (I usually do two). I am only going to put the one up in the basement because Madeline is just too quick and too smart to have one upstairs. I know she would try to pull herself up on it, and it would probably come crashing down around her! No thanks. My tree in the basement with all of my collector's Disney ornaments will do just fine. We're finally get the house listed with the realtor too, so I need to spend some time cleaning and packing up some "clutter" too. When the hell I am supposed to do all this I have no idea! I am also supposed to go shopping with my dad for my mom's Christmas gifts. This is an annual tradition. Hmmm... that's a good topic for a future post. Holiday traditions. Next week. I actually need to go do some work now.

Sad Update

Sorry for the week of non-posts. I came in to work last Tuesday and got a phone call early in the a.m. from my mom... my grandpa passed away. Remember back in Sept. when my grandma died? Well her husband just didn't want to live without her and passed away 2 months and 12 days later. It was really sad. I guess my dad and all of his siblings were called to the hospital and then they took him off the ventilator and they were all in the room as he took his last breaths. It was hard with the holiday thrown in there, but the viewing was Wednesday and the funeral was Friday.

I have to tell you that the funeral was pretty interesting... You see my grandpa was a real "old" style southern Baptist man. He would drive out into the boonies to go to church every Sunday evening by himself. He loved going and he went every week until he was too sick to drive himself anymore.

I didn't know too much about his church except for what my dad had told me, which was that he was forced to go as a child and was terrified of it. Now, I tell you this story not to pass judgment on anyone's religious beliefs or practices, but just to share my experience and what my family experienced on Friday. This is simply a narrative of the funeral told me from a non "old regular Baptist" point of view....

At any rate, after spending time at the hospital on Tuesday and then with his siblings, he came over to my house to take a nap and visit Maddy. He starts telling me that it is my grandpa's church's custom to have a 3 day and 3 night around the clock prayer/preaching vigil with the body... typically in the home. He said that the family vetoed that idea. None of them were up for that, plus with Thanksgiving in the mix it just really wasn't what the family wanted to do. Their compromise was to have grandpa's preacher and church "folk" do the service at the funeral home on Friday. And wow did they ever do the service.

We sat in the funeral home listening to them for more than 2 hours. It started with this really loud chanting/singing of these hymns that were really intense and to me, a bit harsh and scary about death and the soul. Anyhow, they were really really loud.

Now, I must add a disclaimer here and tell you that this is really hard to put into words... the intensity of these people and the reactions of the various family members...

Three preachers talked for about a half hour each, and there was another half hour of nothing but this loud chanting/singing.

I should preface this with the fact that the funeral home was packed with people. No one else in my family is this old-school Baptist. Many of us are Baptists, but we belong to more modern congregations and have never been exposed to this type of service.

So, when these preachers "talked" it wasn't really talking. It was more like this weird singing type of preaching, and they would get really into it and get louder and louder and they would be gasping for air between words. It was so bizarre to me. Every couple of minutes they would walk around and hug all the brothers and my aunt, and then shake hands with all the spouses. I think my dad was hugged by these men like 30 times throughout the service. Then, when they would pray, they would all literally get down on the ground and like lay down. This is fine, but when you're not expecting it and all of a sudden this group of men just starts laying on the ground, people all just look around and kind of freak out a little bit.

Now, I think the 2 hour service would have been tolerable had they spent the time reminiscing and sharing stories about my grandpa. But I think the only thing they said about him was "He was a quiet man who loved the church." The rest of that two hours was spent telling everyone that if they were not born again they were going to hell and they would never see my grandpa again. I heard about the fires of hell and damnation and how you need to have the love of Jesus in your heart and you need to be "borned again" or you would not be saved.

This is fine to an extent, because the majority of my family believes this as well - you need to accept Jesus into your life and believe in Him to go to Heaven. However, we did not need to hear it a hundred times in the course of an hour. And we did not need to be threatened like that in a time of grief. It was just so bizarre and so long...

At one point, I seriously think half of the people there were out in the lobby or outside.

By the time they wrapped it up, everyone was aggrevated and annoyed and really freaked out. Nice way to say goodbye to a "quiet man."

They told them they could not do this at the cemetary, that they had to keep it short. So, we get to the cemetary and it's snowing and it's freezing cold and they sing and pray again. They did keep it short, but they did lay down in the snow to pray. I'll give them some credit, the song they sang there was nice, and I will remember it always, "Gone away with a Friend." I know that's what my grandpa did. He's with Jesus and my grandma now, and he's not sick or suffering anymore. I'm just really sad for my Dad. To lose both parents within a couple months of each other.

At any rate... it's strange to say goodbye to an entire set of grandparents and almost end a chapter in my life. It will be the weirdest at Christmas. My grandma's birthday was Christmas Eve.

So, here's to all the wonderful memories of my grandma, Evedith, and my grandpa, Pierce. They were married for 63 years. They had 9 nine children together. 24 grandchildren and 29 great-grandchildren. I think their deaths being so close together is just a testament to how much they relied on each other and loved each other. God bless them and keep them. I will remember them always.