This time of year...

This time of year brings about so many emotions for me. With my girls, Christmas is going to be amazing this year; and I am trying so hard to introduce Maddy to traditions and all of the fun stuff associated with this time of year. However, I must say that all of this is a little shaded for me because this is also the time of year that 3 years ago I found out about the affair...

My family is BIG into Christmas. Family shopping day, decorating, baking, etc. I LOVE all of the things we do getting ready for the big day, and I really want my girls to know that. I want them to remember their mama singing Christmas songs and dancing around the kitchen with them, when they look back on their childhood Christmas memories. So, I have been busy making an idiot out of myself at home with my girls. Singing and dancing and baking and making hot cocoa.

Maddy is so excited about Christmas she can't stand it! We made "reindeer food" to sprinkle outside on Christmas Eve, and she asks every day if we can "sprinkle it all over the gas today?" She shows every single person, no matter how many times they have been over, as soon as they walk in the door, our Christmas tree. She tells them about every ornament! Friday, we went to see Santa. It was big moment for her. She was a nervous wreck about it, but Jerry calmed her down.

Miss Emma sat on his lap first and smiled huge, which put Maddy at ease. She sat right on his lap and took an amazing picture! Then, she got down and talked to him. She was so nervous, she was shaking. She told him she wanted a make-up table and a Barbie. She said Miss Emma wanted a teddy bear, and then she told him she's been a good girl and was going on the potty. It was hilarious! When we walked away, she was a different kid. Flooded with relief, she grabbed her daddy's hand and went "swooshing" her dress down the aisle in the mall.

She is very excited about getting presents. She told me the other day that "Santa will be very quiet." He won't wake her up, but she'll come downstairs and be surprised. We have to bake him cookies because he will "eat 'em all up!"

She asks me to tell Santa every time she does something good - when she goes potty, when she eats her food, when she shares with her sissy. I have to talk to the ceiling, because she knows he is watching her! Totally so much fun.

Those girls make everything incredibly fun!

Last week was really tough on me though. It was the anniversary of the night I found out about the affair. I remember every single detail of that night and the next few days after that as if it were yesterday. AND to top it all off... we have discovered that the horrible bitch is working at the mall 2 minutes down the street from my house. Yes, she has been sighted, by none other than my brother!!! He ran out of the store, and she actually sent him a text message and told him he could've at least said hi! Psycho!

Small confession: When we were at the mall visiting Santa on Friday night, I was secretly hoping we would see her. My girls were all dolled up and we were quite the happy little family, and I wish she could've seen us and knew that what she did, didn't ruin us, me or our life together. She wasn't working though.

Anyhow, this post is totally random and all over the map, and I know I haven't posted anything iN FOREVER, but things have been insanely busy at work and at home!!!

Happy Holidays to everyone!!