In the Middle

So I just got off the phone with my mom, and ya know there is this thing that my parents do that drives me insane. They put me in the middle of them and Jerry. I hate that! Today she was bitching b/c "Jerry wasn't nice to them on Sunday." OK. Jerry wasn't nice to me either - he never is at his family functions. When he's around his family, he is the center of attention/Mr. Party Man. He becomes this big asshole who thinks he's Mr. Big shot and treats me like shit. We've had this fight more times than I care to count. So, at the Baptism Hoop-La, he was hamming it up with his family and when my parents came, he basically ignored them. I told my mom, "Hey - don't feel bad, he ignored me all day too." So much so that I left without him.

But ya know why he's like that? Because his whole damn family is that way, and they encourage this behavior. They think "Bub" is this really wonderful, life of the party guy and they expect him to make an ass out of himself and entertain everyone. They don't care that he hasn't helped his wife for one iota of a second with the baby or that he sat on his ass while his wife hauled all the baby shit to the car and loaded up the car seat all by herself. He was having fun, and that's all that matters to them. He's the "Godfather," and he's "Bub," so he does no wrong and he expects you to just be cool on your own. His mentality is that the rest of his family is there, so they can help me with Maddy and stuff and ya know my parents can just mingle with everyone else (even though they really don't know that many other people there). He's playing cornhole, so he's too busy to visit - deal with it.

Anyways, this is all beside the point. My parents bitch to me about this every time there's some function or some day that Jerry offends them. What the hell do they want me to do? I'm not going to scold him like I'm his mother or something. I've said stuff to him before, and he always reacts the same way - like my parents are from another planet where people actually have feelings. He doesn't get it - he wasn't raised to care too much about what other people think of him.

Jerry is a pretty cold-hearted guy to most people, but so is everyone else in his family. They just don't operate like the rest of the world. They are very competitive, "fend for yourself" kind of people, and you either just jump right in and talk to someone or you sit in the corner and get pissed off at everyone. It took me many years to figure that out, but I've finally gotten the pattern of behavior down.

Now, I know that he's an ass, and I know he could've at least acknowledged my parents' existence on Sunday, but again, what do they want me to do? For every one of this asshole days, he has several really good days with all of us, especially Maddy and I. And ya know, think about how we all are around our in-laws... I'm sure we don't always come across the most friendly/caring people either. It's just different than with your own family. I would say this to my mom, but you know, I don't want to pick sides in this either. Whatever. We agree that Jerry was an ass - end of story. I don't need to hear what Dad said about it or how it all makes them feel... Again, it's over. What do they want me to do?