I always swore I would never do this...

As a girl who grew up with mom that always worked some job or another, I witnessed something that I swore would never happen to me! My mom would get up in the morning with us and make sure we had breakfast and that my hair was fixed and that we were dressed and had lunches to take to school and that we didn't forget our homework. She would also manage during that time to get herself dressed and ready for work. She would either drive us to school or drop us off at the bus stop, and head off to her job. We would usually get home from school before my mom would get home from work, so we would call her as soon as we set foot in the house and she would give me instructions for starting dinner (usually something of the frozen variety or something very easy for me to do), and then she would get home just in time to throw it all together and finish it up for us to eat. She would then clean up the dishes, and throw in a load or two of laundry, and get us all showered/bathed, make sure we did our homework, pack lunches for the next day, etc.

Now, I did not have a SINGLE mother. I had a WORKING mother. My dad ate those meals and enjoyed his clean clothes and used some of those dishes too. Granted, he did work longer hours than my mom, but my mom still worked too.

As a little girl, I didn't really notice the one-sided work load at home, but the older I got, the more I noticed, especially when my mom started pawning off some of those household tasks to me. I swore I would never be "one of those moms" who did everything while her husband just worked and came home to relax.

Now, I must also confess that I know that my dad did a lot of the outside work and home repair stuff, but most of it wasn't done until my mom pestered him enough to go do it.

However, as I am settling more and more into this "motherhood" role and have now been a wife for nearly five years, I can see exactly why my mom never complained about doing all of these things around the house.

I have noticed lately that I am the one cooking dinner and doing the dishes every night. Packing Maddy's clothes to take to Jerry's mom's house during the week. Doing all the laundry (except for Jerry's clothes -hard and fast rule that he does his own to avoid arguments). Giving her a bath. Cleaning up the toys. Keeping our calendar of social activities in line and making sure we are all where we need to be when we need to be there.

I am not complaining that I do these things, which is the weird part. If anyone has known me for any amount of time, you will know that for all of my young adult life I despised cooking and cleaning, and would often live in a very MESSY state before I would do anything about it. I have always been more about my clothes and my career than I have ever been about a household... until now.

I don't know if it is the idea that I have another child on the way, and I am now shifting into a mode where motherhood will be an even bigger part of who I am or if it is merely just part of growing up... but it is weird. I find myself enjoying cooking, and I don't mind doing the dishes or laundry, because it makes things nice and enjoyable for my family.

Jerry does do a lot at home too. I have to give him credit. He does do things now and then that I am surprised and appreciative of; however, there are stupid little things that I will never understand the logic as to why he does NOT do them... Like putting new garbage bags in the garbage cans. He will always take out the full trash bags and take them out to the garage. He will NEVER EVER put new bags in. I always go to throw something away and find the exposed can and have to put the new bags in...

I must also tell you that I definitely DO NOT have it as bad as my mom did. My mom also handles all of their financial stuff (she is an accountant afterall), and so she did all the bills and everything too. And, every Saturday, like clockwork, she did the weekly cleaning (dusting, vaccuuming, etc.) I, on the otherhand, do NOT touch our financial crap. Jerry handles all of that. I also do NOT do the routine cleaning stuff. If you can believe this, I actually pay my mother to come do it twice a month! (I was going to hire a cleaning service to do this, but my mom offered and wanted the extra money when she dropped down to working four days a week.) Ironically, she uses the money for her day off with Maddy and spends it all and more on her spoiled rotten granddaughter, so it really does work out well and doesn't feel like my mom is my maid or anything...

And before anyone gets too judgmental here, I must also tell you that I do make signficantly more money than my husband and I do work a lot more hours than he does. AND, our house is a far cry from the 3 bedroom tiny ranch that I grew up in and watched my mom miticulously scour and clean. So, there are certain things I really just do not want to do because it would mean giving up even more time with my daughter than I already do...

I just have noticed lately how much little domestic things that used to totally repulse me, have actually become enjoyable and meaningful. I understand why my mom just did it all and never once complained. I have a whole new perspective and appreciation for all the things my mom has done and still does for me, and I understand why the huge sacrifices she made for us didn't seem so huge to her.