Second Pregnancy Depression

On and off since Thanksgiving, I have been having these little bouts of depression. I get into a funk and just cry for no reason and feel really sad. I have stupid thoughts about whether or not Jer still loves me or whether or not I'm a good enough mom to Maddy and whether or not I'm going to be able to be a good mom to two girls. I've actually stayed home from work twice because of these stupid feelings, and yesterday was one of those days. I just felt like I was in a fog - tired and weepy and weird. I don't know why these feelings come about, but even just thinking about having those thoughts makes me cry.

I was talking to my mom about this and she said she went through it with her second pregnancy too. She said it is probably because it is not as big a deal as it was the first time around. The whole world isn't revolving around the pregnancy - Jer and I aren't out shopping for baby things every spare minute, and there's no shower, and I have to worry about and focus on Madeline as well, so my whole world isn't revolving around this baby either. She also pointed out to me that I'm really tired and not getting enough rest because I have to take care of Maddy, which means naps and extra sleep just aren't an option.

So, my mom is keeping Maddy Thursday and Friday nights, and I am going to have dinner with Jerry and work on getting caught up on Maddy's scrapbook. I think this will make me feel better.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning, and I'm going to ask him if these feelings are normal, because they really make me unhappy and I also get really crabby and am not so nice to Jer and I get really impatient with Maddy. The thing is, I see myself doing it and feel it, but I don't know why I can't stop acting and thinking like a sappy, crying disaster of a woman.